On a pedestal

Putting somebody on a pedestal is a bad thing for you and for them.

For you, because you are taking distance from an ideal that you should, instead, make your own. You say things like: I’ll never be like you; You are much better than I am; I could never do that. And by saying it, you both set a lower bar for yourself and build a perfect excuse for your next failure.

For them, because you are holding them to an unrealistic standard. It might be that they have found some specific ways to manage the situation, but for sure they battle with the same demons, have the same uncertainty, feel the same fear of failure as you do. They need to be able to express all that, instead of hiding it to adhere to the idea you might have.

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