Three burdens

The first is that you have to be liked. Doing something to please others is the reason why your work sucks and the very same idea that everyone could or should like you is most likely the reason why you are stuck.

The second is that success is measurable with money. It’s a very expensive fairytale and for a very large part of us it is also an excuse to never look at what matters.

The third is that commitment is forever. Very few are, and even when you have invested a lot in something, it is still fair to get to a point where you say: “thank you, I am out”.

Can you free yourself of these burdens?

Different hows

When we look at others we look at how they behave, how they look, how they interact with others. We often know very little of how they feel, how they think, how they see the world around them.

When we look at ourselves we look at how we feel, how we think, how we see the world around us. We often know very little of how we behave, how we look, how we interact with others.

That’s why every judgement, every comparison, every attempt to explain is unfair and unbalanced. And we need to learn to live with this.

Once again balanced

When you are overwhelmed, it is OK to let go of one thing. And then two. And then three.

Of course, we all want to get everything done, and there are so many things that are important for us, for our dears, for our community, for our company. But you are not achieving more if you want to keep pushing when you are at your limit. You are just giving yourself, and everybody else, the illusion that things are progressing. So, cancel that meeting, skip the gym for the week, go for a take away instead of home cooking, spend half an hour longer in bed in the morning.

Until you are once again balanced.

Ground and arms

Change is permanent.

And there are only two things you can do about it.

First, build a solid ground. That would be knowing yourself, your situation, your story, your purpose, your triggers, your strength. A solid ground is what will allow you to not take change personally.

Second, open your arms. That would be listening to others, embracing their fears, helping them with their agendas, navigating the situation together with them, establishing long-term relationships. Open arms is what will allow you to make your solid ground even more solid.

One thing you should never do about change, and that would be trying to control it.