The first time I was in a leadership role, I struggled very much to understand the unwanted consequences of what a leader says and does. The illusion is often that you can still behave like a peer, or a friend. Yet people will look for direction, not for jokes. They will look for reassurance, not … Continue reading The illusion
Your actions will have a much higher impact if they fit in a story you live every day. Your feedback will be taken more seriously if it's part of a more general attempt to genuinely help move the situation forward. Your survey will get a better response rate if it's framed in an ongoing effort … Continue reading Isolated acting
If the chances to contract a disease increase 10%, we would all be much more worried and depending on the disease even panic. Yet it would be more accurate to ask how much the disease is common in our population: if originally out of 100 people 1 catched the disease, the 10% increase would sound … Continue reading Numbers have stories
Whether we are on the giving or on the receiving part of feedback, we need to make it very clear that there is a distinction between what we do and who we are. This is liberating. Understanding that what the other person is saying is not a personal critique, as well as approaching the act … Continue reading Protect who you are
Labels stick. This is why we get defensive when we are assigned one we do not like, as well as why we should be careful when assigning one to others. It happens a lot when we deliver feedback. Things like "it does not seem you are committed enough" (label = "indifferent"), or "you could do … Continue reading Labelling
Three ways to start the good habit of trusting others, particularly if you are in a leadership role. Praise others' strengths. This is not about saying "good job" or "keep up the great work", but actually about taking time to identify things people do well and break those down with them. Why are they good? … Continue reading How to start trusting others
Feedback is important, and as I wrote before the only thing to say when we get it is "thank you". Yet, we should not fall into the trap of taking action on every piece of feedback we get. Feedback is about the person who is giving it much more than it is about the person who … Continue reading When does feedback matters?