That moment you spend doing something that someone else wants you to do, and that you absolutely hate. That moment when you despise yourself, blame the other, feel like there’s no point, find faults in everything. That same moment you get angry, furious, mad, and then sad, depressed, disillusioned.

It’s just not worth it, isn’t it?

And to be clear, that does not mean “follow your passion and do what you like“.

It means find what you like and be brave enough to stick with it.

No matter what others want or say.

They too will thank you, eventually.

Compliance and change

Most feedback features an I and a you.

I like what you did.

I feel you are not motivated enough.

I believe this is what you should do.

It’s the opinion of one person – often against the opinion of another person -, and the effectiveness of this kind of feedback depends on the status of the one giving it. Even in the best case scenario, even if the feedback gets through, it is because of compliance.

A more effective feedback features a what, an how, a why, and a couple more whats.

What happened?

How did it go? – in relation to shared goals.

Why did things go like that?

What will be different next time?

What can I do to help?

It’s the feedback that helps reflection and learning. Status has zero relevance, in fact this format can be used by anyone with anybody. And when the feedback is successful, you have lasting change.

Three burdens

The first is that you have to be liked. Doing something to please others is the reason why your work sucks and the very same idea that everyone could or should like you is most likely the reason why you are stuck.

The second is that success is measurable with money. It’s a very expensive fairytale and for a very large part of us it is also an excuse to never look at what matters.

The third is that commitment is forever. Very few are, and even when you have invested a lot in something, it is still fair to get to a point where you say: “thank you, I am out”.

Can you free yourself of these burdens?

And the winner is

What is the value of:

  • An award that has your name on it?
  • An award you have paid money to get?
  • An award that is given to everyone who participates?
  • An award that nobody knows about?
  • An award you and your team have worked hard to achieve?

In the end, most people who visit your website can’t really tell the difference. That’s why awards as marketing tools are little more than organizations talking about themselves.