And the even bigger problem for you is that it prevents you from being you.
When you try to fit – by using a jargon that everyone else is using, by going through a career trajectory that everybody can recognize, by telling a story that everyone feels comfortable with – you essentially hide your differences for the sake of harmony. It is normal to want to do that, even advisable in some instances.
But what happens once you are in, feel at ease, and attempt to express that part you hid? Here is a strong risk of a life of misery.
There are two things you can do to mitigate that.
First, you have to be selective with the groups you want to be part of. Not all groups are worth fitting in – which is, again, essentially losing a little part of you. Some groups are more open to differences than others – which means having to hide less, or nothing.
Second, you need to work on your story in a way that eases you into fitting in (the groups you selected). You own your story, you choose what to tell about, how to tell about it, and by making your story an expression of yourself, you signal to the group who you are and what they can expect from you.
Things come and go. They come again and they go again. Other things will come and go.
And so on.
The only aspect you can really affect is the way things impact you. A rainy day can be a disaster or an opportunity. An argument with a friend can be a deal-breaker or a change in perspective. A rejection can get you down or give renewed energy.
You need intention when interacting with the world.
For many employees, their first contact with your organisation is via your recruitment function. For most people, the only interaction with your organisation is with your recruitment function.
Both recruitment and customer service deal with a high volume of traffic that makes it difficult to identify what matters. And in both cases, this challenge often translates in poor service and missed opportunities.
The fact is, recruitment and customer service are windows through which people look inside the organisation. They might become employees or not, they might become customers or not. But for sure they will leave with a clear impression of what you stand for – an impression that will spread to the people with whom they will share the experience.