In life, as in business, it is often not a matter of if. Things will happen that will mess with your plans, disturb your tranquillity, challenge your assumptions, force you to review your ideas. On the other end, it is pointless to make it a matter of when. You can't control change, and timing might … Continue reading If, when, and how
Category: self-help
Absolute
If we want to grow, we need feedback. And if we want to learn from feedback, we need to stop taking it as absolute. It is human to want to protect one's work, reputation, identity. But that often leads us to see feedback as totally negative (or totally positive). We need to be able to … Continue reading Absolute
Step aside
Most of the pressure we feel is of our own making. When we manage to take a step aside and ask important questions (why do I want this? what do I need? what is the worst thing that could happen?) we find the space to breath. People in our lives are fine with attention and … Continue reading Step aside
Next level
If after a run your muscle don't hurt and you are not short on breath, it probably means you have not exercised hard enough. You are ready for the next level. Similarly, if you do not feel like you are a fraud and you are letting everyone down with what you do daily, it probably … Continue reading Next level
Your loss
Writing things down, making a public commitment, pinning an item on the calendar. To some these actions mean being one step farther to actually doing. It is a form of resistance. It does not matter if we are in charge or if someone else is in charge. The very same moment we are saying "I … Continue reading Your loss
Agree and disagree
Always make an effort to start with what you agree on. We are wired to focus on the negative feedback, on the opposite opinions, on the rejections, on the new ideas. And so, we need intention to spot agreement. Next time you get a difficult email, a new plan, a lengthy piece of feedback, a … Continue reading Agree and disagree
The ruler
We all measure success by some kind of ruler, and this ruler needs to have two characteristics. It needs to be consistent. So that you can measure ups and downs over time, and maintain the course on the same objective (or set of objectives). And it needs to be relevant. To you, and to those … Continue reading The ruler
Three items
If you draft a list of what is important and you end up with more than three items, that is just a to-do list. You can focus on one item at any single time, and you can allow one or two more for when that single, most important one is giving you a break. That … Continue reading Three items
Contradiction
Every father (every parent, to be fair) learns to live with a sort of contradiction. On one side, you know your kids are the most important thing in life. You would do anything for them, and in many cases you do. You put them first when you plan, you consider their feelings and needs to … Continue reading Contradiction
Lows and highs
There is no growth without crisis, and you cannot sow seeds without breaking the ground first. Every low, no matter how desperate it might look, can be followed by the highest high you have ever experienced. No guarantee on the timing, but if you stay present, if you learn, if you develop, if you continue … Continue reading Lows and highs
