The superior companion

If you fall in love with an outcome, you will never notice that the world around you is moving, that the context is ever changing, and that the outcome, in the end, does not provide that sense of reward you had anticipated.

If instead you fall in love with the journey, you are in the present, here and now. You see the changes, you notice the details, you are awake and ready, you have a place to fall back to when the unexpected becomes reality.

The journey is just a superior companion.

Within you

When you scream, scratch, offend, shut down, retort, bite, barricade, wound.

That’s all about you, isn’t it?

It’s not the situation, the others in the room, your boss, your partner, your kids.

It’s something deep down within you.

And when you are calm, the most you can do is go and search for it, label it, put it to rest.

It will be easier the following time.

Turn the narrative around

A negative turn of events is not inherently bad. A positive turn of events is not inherently good.

You ought to be able to see the good in the bad as well as the bad in the good. Not to be detached from reality. Not to be problem child or the naïve dreamer. Not to stay away from grief and joy at all costs. But to be able to appreciate the power that you have to turn the narrative around.

Surprising

There are so many variables in any open position, in any grant available, in any reward you might be pursuing, that it is actually more surprising when you succeed than when you fail.

And by the way, neither success nor failure is a reliable measure of your worth.

The sooner you get used to it, the more you can focus on building your own measure.

When times are tough

The surest and fastest way to get unstuck is to bring in a different perspective.

A therapist, a coach, a colleague from another team, a mentor who’s been there before, your partner, a friend, a business advisor, a marketing agency, a freelancer.

Make that connection when times are tough.

Actually, make the connection when times are good so that you can leverage it when times are tough.