As you go

We would like there to be a simple answer. And the reality, of course, is that there is none.

We would love the answer to be in the next article we read, the next podcast episode we listen to, the next online class we register for – even though we know we will never have the time, or the motivation, or the incentive to actually take it.

We would love our beloved go-to influencer to share their secret sauce. We would pay hard earned money to get it from their very own voice. We are desperate for it, so much so we convince ourselves that if only we would take the recommendation in the latest LinkedIn post they shared, everything would be fine.

The reality, of course, is that there is no secret sauce.

Every situation, every context, every team, every product, every go-to-market, every business model is different. You can apply some of your own previous expertise, or some of someone else’s previous expertise, but you’ll better do it carefully.

Starting with listening and asking loads of questions, seeing what you can take and what you need to drop, agreeing with others on the next important steps to take together.

That’s probably the only bullet that looks somewhat silvery.

Come up with the plan as you go.

Ready to guide

A father expects their kids to do what the father think it is best for them.

A mentor expects mentees to take and embrace the advice the mentor is giving.

A manager expects direct reports to be happy with the new project the manager is about to assign.

And until we can’t let go of the expectations that others will do as we please, we can’t say we are ready to guide.

Practice praising

We often found ourselves wanting to express appreciation for a colleague, our partner, our kids. Yet it seems to be so difficult to go beyond some generic remarks.

Practice praising and you will be rewarded with happiness and emotion all around you.

Start with someone you feel safe with and expand.

Start with just a few genuine words and expand.

Start doing it once a week and expand.

Soon you will realize that it is much softer to live in a world where praise is common.