The only thing we have moderate control on is ourselves. What we do. How we react. The way we talk about the events of life. Who we spend time with, and where.
And yet, we spend an incredible amount of energy trying to guide what others think, the random events, what others will decide, and whether they want to spend time with us or not.
Focus on what is within reach.
Eventually, you will have to make peace with the version of yourself you will never be.
With your childhood dreams. With what your family wanted for you. With what you never liked and got inculcated with anyway simply because you were born there. With what has changed and will not come back.
It’s a huge challenge, probably one of the biggest one you’ll face.
What you are not, you simply are not.
Relationships are key to success.
The people you have around, your family, friends, colleagues, the mentor you discuss difficult topics with, those you turn to when it’s time to celebrate, debrief, understand.
The idea of the lonely hero triumphing against all odds is just wrong. Success is quite predictable, and the relationships you are building – the two-way relationships – are the stepping stones.
If someone would look at you now, what would they see?
If they would check on you while you are working, relaxing, exercising, parenting, leading, what feeling would they be left with?
If they would have a chance to take a peek at you when no one else is watching, what would they learn?
This is the compassionate responsibility to try and be your better self at all times, it is not the merciless burden that makes you give up.
And it does matter.
As a leader, saying I am sorry is your responsibility. It helps healing and looking forward, it gives perspective, it makes you human.
It is also your responsibility to not make of I am sorry an empty sentence. If you find yourselves saying that too often, as a reaction to the same situations, it should be clear it is time for you for a change.