Back on your feet

Fears build up within us. The reality is rarely as bad as we imagine it to be.

What is the worst thing that could happen? is always a very powerful question. We don’t need most of the things we want, and we don’t want most of the things we have.

Look your anxiety in the eyes and ask: What if I let it go? What if what I fear will materialize? What if the worst case scenario is what I will wake up to tomorrow?

I promise, more often then not, you will still be you.

And then you’ll have all the resources to get back on your feet.

The different shapes of success

Success comes in different shapes.

Sometimes it is up and to the right. This kind is easy to recognize. It is success that comes from accumulation. More of this, more of that. We just need to be mindful that what we are accumulating is what is best for ourselves, for our dear ones, for our group.

Sometimes it is down and to to the right. This kind is not as intuitive as the first one. It is success that comes from reduction. Less of this, less of that. What makes this particularly challenging is that cutting what is not best (for ourselves, for our dear ones, for our group) gets more difficult over a long period of time.

Sometimes it is right in the middle. Most people feel uncomfortable with this kind. It is success that comes from consistency. One of this today, one of this tomorrow, one of this the day after tomorrow. It turns out, in the long run it is still accumulation (or reduction). Just not as evident, arguably more impactful.

We need to be able to appreciate and celebrate the different shapes of success.

If we don’t, we are stuck in a narrative that is not our own.

The greatest enemy

We are the greatest enemy to our own purpose, satisfaction, betterment, fullfilment.

We tell ourselves stories about the world that merely reflect what we feel and fear. Others will think I am arrogant if I do that. I am not good enough. If only I could get someone who believes in me. They don’t want me here anymore. They don’t care.

We are in charge. And we have the power to change all that. Now.

I may be able to explore my past, recalling memories of incidents where I learned to hide from my life, feeling the churn in my gut that makes (and keeps) me exactly as I am. And I may be able to explore the future person I want to be, my preferred image of myself, my intended self-concept tuned to hope and maybe distracting fantasy. But between the past and the future there’s the Now, with its stubborn realities, with its unpredictability and hidden dangers. There, in the Now, that’s where the real journey is either embraced or rejected, a point at which I must make a choice about facing what I haven’t faced all along — and stick with it.

Dan Oestreich – The mutiny against our conditioning

Languishing

We are fourteen months into a major health crisis.

Again.

We are fourteen months (for some, even fifteen, sixteen, or more) into a major health crisis.

It is ok to feel down. It is ok to struggle to find motivation. It is ok to feel stuck, to have the impression that nothing is worth taking on, to think that this is never going to end, to believe that we will be in the middle for the rest of our days.

This is called languishing.

And a good antidote to it, is to give ourselves uninterrupted periods of doing. An even better antidote to it, is to give ourselves uninterrupted periods of doing something that matches with our broader sense of purpose. Arguably the best antidote to it, is to give ourselves uninterrupted periods of doing something that matches with our broader sense of purpose, and then talk about it with other people who share the same interest, with our loving ones, with the community we belong to.

We might feel like this is never ending, yet it will end.

We might feel like nothing matters anymore, yet most things still do.

We might feel like we are alone, yet we are not.

Here are three links to check out to help us manage languishing.

In parallel

I am old enough to remember the time when multitasking was often a requirement in job ads. Nowadays, I have at least the impression that it is not so much so anymore.

In any case, if you feel like multitasking, you are asked to multitask, you are looking for someone who multitasks, this study is a good reminder of why that is not a good idea.

  • Multitaskers are often people who struggle to block out distraction, and therefore it is very difficult for them to focus and enter in a state of flow.
  • Multitaskers are high sensation seekers, they are impulsive, and do not like to plan.
  • Multitaskers tend to overestimate their capability to multitask.
  • Multitaskers are not among those who are better at multitasking effectively (i.e., if you do not multitask frequently, you have better chances to be effective at multitasking in the occasion that is needed).