Most feedback features an I and a you.

I like what you did.

I feel you are not motivated enough.

I believe this is what you should do.

It’s the opinion of one person – often against the opinion of another person -, and the effectiveness of this kind of feedback depends on the status of the one giving it. Even in the best case scenario, even if the feedback gets through, it is because of compliance.

A more effective feedback features a what, an how, a why, and a couple more whats.

What happened?

How did it go? – in relation to shared goals.

Why did things go like that?

What will be different next time?

What can I do to help?

It’s the feedback that helps reflection and learning. Status has zero relevance, in fact this format can be used by anyone with anybody. And when the feedback is successful, you have lasting change.