What we do is always a manifestation of something deep we feel inside.

When we shout, it might be because we got scared.

When we hit somebody, it might be because we feel insecure.

When we say something mean, it might be because we got treated unfairly.

That’s an explanation of course, but it should not be an excuse. We need to identify what’s deep inside, and tackle it with all our possible resources, because it’s difficult to get rid of the behavior if the feeling is still there.