Category: self-help

30 days (and some)

FabrizioLeave a comment

It’s the last day of January, and this means I have been blogging daily for 30 days (actually, something more).

I am happy I have sticked with it. And what makes me even more happy is that so far I have avoided overthinking – “I should not post this”, “This deserves more editing”, “I’ll post this when I have more information”, and I have never for a second stopped wondering if this or that post would get me more views, likes, visitors or followers.

The overthinking part, at least for me, is particularly precious. Overthinking, overediting, overcriticising my work is something I am prone to. That is one of the main costume resistance wears when it comes dissuade me from doing.

Few of my favourites from the month have been.

Write it down – An invitation to elaborating thoughts, feelings, ideas, and more with words.

We are all main characters .. – A reminder that others are trying to do their best just like we are.

Burning or building – A clear choice we constantly have to make.

On to the next 30, then.

Help and resistance

Fabrizio11 Comments

Resistance is a very interesting concept, one I knew I would talk about sooner or later. It is not mine, and it was very well developed by Steven Pressfield in his book The War of Art.

Resistance is a force that works against getting things done. It has different faces (rationalisation, fear, distraction, procrastination, self-criticism just to mention a few), but very generally speaking it is the story we tell ourselves to give us reasons not to do something we want to do.

If somebody offers their help, for example, in a generous and passionate way, the most rational part of us would say: “Thank you, I take it. Here is what you could do”.

But then resistance kicks in. And here is what it says. “They must be busy”, “Just offering their help to be kind”, “Don’t want to bother them”, “There’s no such thing like a free lunch”, “They don’t really care”, “I don’t have time to tell them what they are doing”, “This is not so important after all”, “I don’t even like them and their work”. And so on.

The point is, will you get what you wanted done or not? If the answer is no, be mindful of resistance. It’s the one talking, not you.

Change is a failure

FabrizioLeave a comment

As I was thinking back to what I wrote few days back about the two different approaches to failure, it struck me how at its core a change is a failure.

It’s a failure of plans, of worldview, of beliefs and values, of expectations, of anticipations, of truths.

If you are not ready to embrace failure, to take responsibility for it, and move on with an expanded mindset, you are most likely not ready for change.

Take up the reins

FabrizioLeave a comment

What happens all around us is not important.

What really matters, is how we process that inside. The feelings it makes us feel, the thoughts it makes us think, the physical reactions our body sends back in return, the story we tell about what is going on.

Once this is clear, it will become easier to be active part of the World and take up the reins of our lives.

Stay still

Fabrizio1 Comment

One of the main things I am learning with meditation is staying still.

We are used to react to whatever happens around us and within us, all the time, every day. Many times, during meditation, I get pulled by a thought, an urge, a desire, a memory, my kids screaming, the computer notifying me that somebody requires my attention, a thousand other things happening in that very same moment.

My first instinct would be to let go of the posture, go check what’s happening, and perhaps come back later.

And yet, I don’t.

I just sit still, letting things around me take their course, taking note while simply caring about being present. It is liberating. Even more when you realise that this is a habit you can take with you wherever you go. You can even get to a point in which it is no longer a deliberate choice. It’s just the way you are.