When trying to help, you have to leave your ego behind.
Because of course, the other person might be listening with no intention to change, your advice might remain unfollowed, your words might actually produce an effect opposite to the desired one.
Giving help is like giving a gift: it’s up to the receiver to decide what to do with it, and we should not let the outcome reflect negatively on the act itself, on our benevolence, on our future actions.
How do we understand that the world does not revolve around us?
That a person we barely know is behaving in an unpleasant way not to make us feel bad?
That our dearest friend is not calling anymore not because they no longer find our company pleasant?
That our boss has not picked our work not because it is of a lower quality?
That our partner is being more silent lately not because they are mad at us?
We are all main characters to our own story. Once we unlock this understanding, we can start approaching the facts of life with empathy and openness, instead of seeing them as a confirmation of our unworthiness.
It is time.
As marketers, we have a responsibility towards our organisation and our customers. We want to establish a relationship that is meaningful and valuable for both sides, possibly one that lasts. And to do so, we often seek our audience in different channels, and eventually double down on the one(s) that proves to be better.
As human beings, though, we also have a responsibility towards our community. We want to contribute positively to it, possibly leaving it in a better state than when we first joined. There are different ways to do that, each one chooses those they are more comfortable with. But more often than not, we choose to participate, as pretending not to care and living on our own would feel quite alienating.
One can juggle the two responsibilities quite easily most of the time, perhaps even trying to build a narrative that makes the two outcomes match.
But it also happens that wanting to establish a meaningful relationship with an audience and positively contributing to the community become forces pulling in opposite directions. Think about pouring money into a channel that harms your community, that covers itself in good intentions, and that continues harming your community while increasing their profits.
When this happen, which of the two responsibilities should prevail?
With the amount of possibilities out there, with all the options one has to learn new things and reinvent themselves, it is very easy to get stuck.
It is the feeling of never being enough, the search for perfection, the impression to always need something more before actually getting going.
It is resistance.
Sit down instead and do the work. You’ll get better at it with time, better also at judging what to adjust, in which direction to progress, what else to learn, who to listen to. Doing the work is the only way.
When you deviate from your path to take a shortcut, you must be aware that you are probably going to waste twice the energy. Merely because the demotivation deriving from the realization that the shortcut is not working (it very rarely does) is going to throw you a long way back from the starting point.
Most things that matter require time and dedication.
Wanting to get there faster is natural, but the time we make and take to actually achieve what we set out to achieve is precious.
It prepares us for the outcome, it makes us stronger, it builds resilience, and often it gives us the opportunity to understand if the pin we are moving towards is the real destination we have envisioned and hoped for. It trains us.
If students expend one day’s effort, they will reap the benefits of one day. After many days and months one will naturally reach the goal.
Yang Ch’eng Fu
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