Tag: empathy

Impulse

FabrizioLeave a comment

The impulse to control, dictate, micro-manage is strong.

We just have to think carefully at what happens when we do it.

Example: a colleague is planning to send out an important email. You submit to the impulse and ask to review it first. The colleague obliges and shares a draft with you. You once again submit to the impulse and, since you do not really have time for this, give them some broad feedback about tone of voice and points to make. They edit the draft and send it back. For the third time, you submit to the impulse and go deep with comments, edits, and formatting. They end up sending your version.

The results.

  1. You are exhausted and you have lost the chance to focus on something that was truly your responsibility.
  2. They are demotivated, because they are probably good to write an email on their own.
  3. The outcome is most likely not going to be what either of you expected, adding to exhaustion and demotivation.

That is a lot of negativity spread around just because you once sent out an email that – in that particular context – turned out to get a pretty positive response.

Get out of the way.

Preparing change

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Change is weird.

When all is calm, we are alright, we feel safe and secure, even a tiny bit of it makes us freak out. We want to maintain control, we want routine, we want more of what is already working. And we want to pretend it will work forever.

When we are in the middle of a storm, instead. When we have problems, we feel discomfort, when we are not even sure that what we are doing is what we want, then we tend to seek it as a panacea. We go after new things, forgetting what we have achieved, and pretend the exact same problems, discomfort, uncertainty will not happen again. No matter where we end up.

There is value in preparing when things are quiet. Incrementally changing our habits, spending time seeking within, adding a small new piece every day. So when the storm hits, we are ready to welcome it, stay with it, learn from it.

Take control of change. It will serve you well.

Find your pace

FabrizioLeave a comment

When your breath is short, your legs heavy, your mind numb, your motivation low, there is really no reason why you should muscle through the situation.

The best thing you can do is slow down, stop even, take a few deep breaths, and find your own pace.

There is nothing more important than you living your life at a pace you can sustain. Not even an olympic medal.

Not really a dilemma

Fabrizio1 Comment

Going back to the office. Continuing to work from home.

It would be nice if for once we would not make out of this an ideological dilemma. There are good arguments for both sides, and when you think about it, it is not really a dilemma. Managers just need to find the courage to ask their employees where they prefer to work, and then follow up to make sure that their choice is respected.

There are different ways to contribute to the success of an organization.

Stalling and advancing

FabrizioLeave a comment

Things that stall a (professional) relationship: sarcasm, passive-aggressive messages, dominating the conversation, lack of communication, inappropriate comments, delays with no explanation, losing your temper, unilateral decisions, power moves, keeping score.

Things that advance a (professional) relationship: helping, saying I am sorry, asking for a chat when there’s a misunderstanding, listening, asking open questions, sharing mistakes, starting with how are you? and tell me more about that, telling about how you feel.

Thinking about that relationship that’s making your workdays miserable, are you stalling or advancing it?