If only should be the last resource when we are trying to find a reason. In reality, we often use it as the go-to excuse when we are trying to hide.
If only the weather was good, I would go for a walk.
If only they would care, I could publish more articles.
If only my boss would get me, I would finally be promoted.
If only my partner would listen, our relationship would be fine.
Many situations are better approached from the inside out. What can you change? What can you control? What are the things you are going to do no matter what?
When you do that, if only fades away. And you will find there is more you can do to change the narrative you are stuck into.