Tag: values

Northern Star

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When you get close to the target, it’s very easy to lose view on the big picture. You focus on the minutiae and details, preparing for the big moment of truth, sure it’s just a matter of time.

A little more to the right, apply just a tiny more pressure, why the heck it’s not working, if only I would have a different tool, a different team, and so on.

That’s the time you need to go back to your Northern Star. The reason why you are doing what you are doing, your motivation, your vision, your purpose.

Only thay will unlock it and get you there.

Boundaries

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How far can you go before you do something about that power dynamic you really don’t like? How much can you wait for changes to happen after you have spoken up? How beaten can your motivation be before you actually stop showing up to do important job?

How much is too much?

In every situation we set boundaries, imaginary limits beyond which something significant will have to happen. Boundaries are what tells us what we can accept and what not, how far we are willing to go, how intimate with others we are open to be. They are a deep representation of who we are and who we want to become.

Boundaries can change over time, but we should be conscious about them at any given time, and flex them with great care. Because there’s nothing worst for self-esteem than allowing others to walk on boundaries back and forth, repeatedly, day after day, until we pretend to stop caring about where the boundary actually is.

Boundaries matter. Perhaps allow some space when you set them. And once that is done, you ought to protect them with all you’ve got.

An act of kindness

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Forgiveness is something you owe yourself.

It’s an act of kindness towards your well-being more than a courtesy to others. Because of course, others will be relieved by the fact you are forgiving them, they will be happy and feel like they can continue with their lives with one less burden.

But you. You will be so much lighter if you make of forgiving a consistent practice. You will be freed of damaging thoughts, anxiety, bad feelings, toxic memories that drain your energy. Even when it’s seem that it’s not a big deal, that you barely think about the whole fact, not forgiving is a black hole that sucks you in. It’s unrelenting. It’s negative.

Give yourself the space to achieve what matters. Genuinely forgive, and move on.

Your own authenticity

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Consistency and authenticity are about doing what you expect of yourself, not what others expect of you.

Even when something is useless, even when nobody is paying attention, even when 99.9% of people would act differently, even when you will not get any reward. Doing that is what builds your persona, your character, your set of values, your story. And by doing it repeatedly, you are authentic.

Others are unfathomable, they falter, they change, they do not know you and what you are around to do. They know themselves, and they can choose, each one of them, for their own consistency.

Take ownership of your own.

The duality of change

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Change is natural, and yet we repeatedly fail to accept its nature.

We fail when we are the passive recipient of change, as we cling to what was before and find increasingly intricate ways to justify a position we often did not support before realising change was upon us. And we fail when we are the active agent of change, as we seem not capable to appreciate the difficulties change brings in others lives and allocate enough space for discussion and venting.

Change brings resistance and opportunities, dialogue and self-absorption, evolution and involution. It is a continuum of statuses, and where the people affected will eventually land highly depends on how deeply we appreciate the duality of it.

This is something to consider if we are interested in deep change. The alternative is to continue approaching change as a one-sided decision, hoping others will quietly resign to it.