Tag: trust

I do not know

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you let go of things you are not good at, you find the space and energy to double down on your strengths. And, equally importantly, you leave the space to others in your team to do the same.

For leaders, this is particularly crucial. We tend to think we should know it all and do it all, that if we are not going to do something is just because we really do not have time. And all that translates, day after day, into a demotivated team, poor deliveries and many chocked processes.

Not knowing is ok.

Say it out loud: “I do not know”.

It is the only possible step towards building a team that can deliver the change you are seeking.

Enough people

FabrizioLeave a comment

Change does not happen because you want to.

Change happens because enough people want to.

And so, the first step towards change is figuring out what others feel about it.

You might get stressed, impatient, irritated by the whole process. But if you cannot handle that, how could you handle what is coming after things have changed?

Care enough

FabrizioLeave a comment

Your colleague does not know how to proceed with their project, there is not much you can do about it.

The executive team has made a decision about a new direction for the company, there is not much you can do about it.

That member of your team is demotivated and you are pretty sure they have started looking for a job, there is not much you can do about it.

The agency is not delivering the quality of work you were expecting for the price you are paying, there is not much you can do about it.

Customers do not understand what you have to offer or why they should care, there is not much you can do about it.

Except, of course, there is.

There is always something you can do about it, provided you care enough. A pep talk, a note, an alternative, a plan, some learning, real positivity, an email, a smile, some words of encouragement, a lot of influencing, long term commitment, a sincere interest.

So, when you go for inertia, at least own the decision: “I am sorry, this is just not important enough for me right now to try to do something to change things”.

Gratification and impact

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you pick up the phone while you are driving, you are choosing a short-term gratification (reading the message you just got) over a long-term impact (the attention you need to drive safely).

When you speed up to pass the car in front of you, despite the continuous line, you are choosing a short-term gratification (the impression to be able to get to your destination faster) over a long-term impact (the care and patience you need to drive safely).

When you click on the notification that pops up on your screen while working, you are choosing a short-term gratification (being on top of what is happening) over a long-term impact (delivering your work with consistence).

When you scream in the face of the person in front of you, you are choosing a short-term gratification (a rush of power, or letting go of your stress) over a long-term impact (building a relationship of trust, or training your capacity of not reacting).

When you skip your daily training, you are choosing a short-term gratification (an hour or so of available time) over a long-term impact (being in good shape and health).

You get the drill.

Most of our small, daily choices are a trade off between gratification and impact. Of course, we do not pay much attention to most of them, because that is not the way we are wired.Yet, we tend to forget that the long term is but a succession of short terms, not something magic that will spark out of nothing at some point in time.

Be intentional about what you do.

The temptation

FabrizioLeave a comment

Having an idea, an opinion, some knowledge, a preference comes with a strong temptation. The temptation to overwhelm, to impose, to change, to replace.

We cannot be wrong, and therefore all that is around us must accomodate our view.

This temptation grows stronger as two things happen.

First, the more we accumulate experience the more we think what has worked so far will also work here and now. Second, the more we are high up in a hierarchy the more we expect it is our right to have better ideas, opinions, knowledge, preferences.

Executive, managers, leaders regularly give in to this temptation. And it is not a matter of being right or wrong. It is more a problem of breaking morale, of mining trust, of diminishing the value you can get from people who work with you.

Temptations can be resisted though. It takes practice and discipline, but it is not impossible. And in this case it will translate in an act of kindness that people will reward you for.