Tag: self-improvement

What is holding you back?

FabrizioLeave a comment

Your boss is not appreciating your work as they should.

That colleague of yours never invites you to important meetings.

Your family does not grant you enough time to cultivate your passion.

The company you want to work for did not answer your application.

Recruiters in your area are simply looking for a different profile.

Customers do not get what your product can do for them.

They probably are.

But the point is, what can you do to change that?

Do you have a problem with authority you can work on? Do you struggle to build relationships with peers? Can you have a conversation with your family to explain why your passion matters to you? Are there skills or holes in your experience that prevent you from being called back when you apply to jobs? Can you do a better job at understanding the people you serve?

Blaming it on the others is an easy escape, one that often gets us stuck. So, what is truly holding you back?

Where it hurts

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you are rejected, the opportunity is not in “better luck next time”, or “it’s their loss”, or “you are better than this”.

The opportunity is in taking a step back and checking where it hurts.

Are you disappointed because you cannot pay the next bill or because you were enjoying what you were doing? Because you have to cancel your next vacation or because you genuinely thought you were delivering your best job? Because you have to face the questions of family and friends or because you felt for once you had something to give to a cause?

When we take the time to check where it hurts, we can more easily spot what is next. And it might be something utterly surprising.

Here to stay

FabrizioLeave a comment

When somebody attacks you on some of the features that define you (your work, your values, your reputation), all you can do is continue nurturing those very same features.

Going head-to-head can be fascinating in a sense. Demolishing the attacker’s argument, pointing out all the good that you have done, bringing people onboard to testify on that goodness, providing evidence that what you say is correct. Fascinating, and costly. And eventually it will most likely play in the hands of your opposer.

You are in it for the long term, not for the next news cycle. Work, values, reputation are built over time. Let others craft and enjoy the hourly commentary, the back-and-forth, the speculation, as it will be soon gone.

You, on the other hand, are here to stay.

Paths

FabrizioLeave a comment

There are many paths to success.

And so all you have to do, day in and day out, is walk the path that leads where you want to go, in a way you are comfortable with and that aligns with your values and stories.

If you let others define this for you, you are missing on the best part.

Worth accepting

FabrizioLeave a comment

The very same event can be described by those involved in very different ways. The same person can describe the same event in different ways at different times.

Does this mean one version is the correct one and the others are wrong?

When we describe what is happening to us we almost never stick to the facts. We bring with us past experiences, values, emotions, sensations, expectations, and as time passes our memory filters out most of what does not align with our story.

And so it happens that often a version is correct for the person narrating it, and wrong for those listening.

Something worth accepting.