Tag: resistance

Above everything else

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you are not enjoying the journey, how do you expect the destination to be any different?

If you do not like your job, the work that needs to be done, sitting down at your desk, taking coffee with a colleague, having that difficult conversation. How do you expect the next promotion to change all that?

If you do not feel happy in your relationship, hate to spend time together, fear the moment something important needs to be discussed, prefer to go on vacation with anybody but your partner. How do you expect the upcoming wedding to change all that?

If you are not up for practice, choose a lazy afternoon in over a run in the park, forget to bring your equipment to training, do not listen to your coach when they advise you, follow your very own personal diet. How do you expect the next personal best to change all that?

We put too much emphasis on milestones, but milestones are nothing more than the sum of the various moments you have lived to get there.

Cherish the journey, above everything else.

The kirppis experience

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Here in Finland, second hand is quite popular. There are plenty of shops that sell second hand stuff, mainly clothes and furniture, but also other items people is happy to pass on to someone else. They are called kirppis.

Kirppis usually have plenty of items. And yet, when you walk into one, there is no guarantee you are going to find what you need. You have to scan through the racks, check all the boxes, survey the tables and review the many shelves. The experience is often overwhelming, but it is the very same concept of second hand that makes it such: you are asking customers to give up ease and standardisation in exchange for low prices and something similar to the thrill of pulling the handle of a slot machine.

The point is, when you overwhelm your audience with facts and information about your product, features, services, what you are offering them is essentially a kirppis experience. You are telling them, “We are sorry, we could not make a decision on what is important, nor could we bother figuring out what you care about, hence we are going to let you scan, check, survey and review all of the terrific things we can offer in the hope you’ll find what you are looking for.“

Of course they will move on. You would too.

No matter what

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Once you have interiorized the fact that most of what happens is beyond your control, there is still value in doing the work, in waking up to change the world, in putting effort into making things better.

Accepting is not the same as giving up. Accepting is understanding that despite our superior qualifications, our impeccable work, our relentless commitment, our strongest will, things might not turn out the way we want. And live with it as we live knowing that the day will follow the night, without letting this simple fact impacting our worth and merit.

This is actually the only way we can ensure we will pursue our purpose no matter what.

The first time

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The first time you catch yourself blaming your not doing something on an external factor is the very moment you should stop complaining and start doing.

I can’t do that because I do not have time.

I can’t do that because my partner would not agree.

I can’t do that because my boss would not praise me.

I can’t do that because society would not accept me.

Instead, the first time is often the beginning of a series of excuses we use to not put in the work. It is a place to hide, a wall we build, it is resistance. If you can’t do it the first time, do it the second, the third, the tenth, the hundredth. Do it sooner rather than later. Do it now.

Maximum effect

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Who is your main antagonist?

Is it the person cutting the line? Is it your partner who does not understand what you want? Is it your friend that never calls you? Is it that big company with unlimited resources to come after you? Is it the new start-up that does not play by the rules? Is it the government trying to regulate a previously unregulated field? Is it the customer who does not understand the change you are making in the world? Is it your boss who cannot see you for what you are really worth?

Or is it you?

Your bad day, your contrasting goals, your lack of capabilities, your unwillingness to compromise, your rigidity, your inability to express your needs, your stretching yourself too thin.

Put your focus where you can maximise the effect.