Tag: relationships

It depends

Fabrizio1 Comment

At some point, we started seeing every situation as a binary option.

Win or loose.

Good or bad.

Give or take.

Growth or irrelevancy.

With or against me.

And so on. That’s only a narrow interpretation of how things are. One, perhaps, that makes it easier for us to interpret the complexity of situations right here right now. And at the same time, sets us for a neverending battle.

Probably the biggest lesson I have learned in business school is that there is no single, mystical key. Most of the questions about what to do in this or that scenario were met by professors with a very convincing “it depends”. It’s not a way to be conservative and not accountable, rather a powerful sentence that unlocks deep understanding, analysis, and decision-making based on the current situation rather than on mere knowledge and experience.

Eventually, I am certain this is an approach that better fits learning, change, impact.

Tasks you don’t like

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The way you deal with a task you don’t want to do greatly defines how you approach change.

You can refuse to do it, as you don’t want. Set out to seek another task, another job, another purpose. And yet, despite the continuos search, you favour the status quo. Your status quo. No big changes on the horizon.

You can do it, without commitment. Do just the bare minimun, or maliciously comply. Most organizations almost demand you to do that. Even in this case, there’s not much to expect in terms of change, as the less you commit the more things will stay the same. Your boss is not going to realize they are wrong.

You can do it, to the best of your possibilities. Already in the act of doing, trying to better the outcome, even if marginally. And in the meantime letting the minor achievements recharge your batteries and increase your competence. All in preparation of changing the task itself and the hearts of those assigning it. Drip by drip. Until you actually end up liking it. It’s a long and windy road, and you’ll end up changing the world.

What matters

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It’s normal to want to please others. It’s naive to try to please everybody.

Eventually, you’ll have to say some nos, whether you’ll do that explicitly or implicitly. The different commitments you have taken are going to clash with one another, and at least a bunch of them are going to be left behind. Your work is going to put off some people, and in the attempt to smooth the corners, you’ll end up losing those who used to like it as well.

When you try to please everybody, it’s highly likely you’ll please nobody.

Instead, start by asking some uncomfortable yet important questions. Who am I trying to serve? Who/what does matter to me? Who do I think highly of? What should I do today to achieve what I set out to do tomorrow?

It sounds counter intuitive that by looking for answers within ourselves we’ll end up serving others better. You should give it a try.

Are you engaging?

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Around the world, only 16% of employees say they are fully engaged with their work (see also here).

It is possible that your company is an exception, and yet research shows that it is a whole lot more likely it is not. This means, most of your employees approach their work as just a job.

How do you turn this around? How do you make sure that people you hire remain motivated in the long term and do not start planning their next career move within the first six months?

Leaders need to take a step back.

The power they have is not in telling others what to do, or arguing they have the right answers, or playing games to favor their ascent. Nor it is in hiding behind “busy”, in travelling 90% of their time, in delivering what is not necessary and failing to deliver what is, in being late to meetings.

They can bring people together around a purpose, and then work from the sideline to support team members at every stage of the journey. The power they have is in making others better, not in making themselves better.

It is a radical shift that still has to concretize. And who gets there first, will have a considerable competitive advantage for a long time.

Dismissals

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There is one important thing to keep in mind when someone in the team has to be dismissed: the impact on those remaining.

For what I have seen so far, there are two reasons why a team member is let go.

The first one is behavioural. The person does not get along well with the rest of the team, is not in line with the company’s culture, generally speaking does not fit well with the work environment. Sometimes, the person is openly toxic and is poisoning the atmosphere for everybody.

The second one is operational. The person is not performing up to the standards, they are not doing their job, they are taking other people’s time in the attempt to catch up. Sometimes, the person is openly slacking, not delivering on their promise and failing to meet even the most basic expectations.

Behavioural dismissal is usually more accepted from those remaining in the team, mostly because the team has felt on their own skin that the relationship was not going well. Operational dismissal is usually more prone to objections, and in most cases it leaves a bitter taste and a sense of fear (“who will be next?”) in those remaining.

On way or the other, there are few things you have to do as a leader to try to mitigate the impact of a dismissal.

First, you have to be crystal clear in setting goals. What is expected of the person, how you are going to measure that, and what are the check points that you’ll go through together. This is valid both for behaviour and performance, and yet I argue that particularly for employees in new situations, the way they relate to others in the team and in the company should be on top of the list of goals.

Second, ask a lot how you can help and make sure to follow up on that. You are the leader, you own the failure and the missteps of your team members. There’s no one in the world that can simply start a new job or a new role and be ready to walk on their own. And this can be extended to all changes that happen in a company or a group.

Third, give ample warnings. If numbers and facts show that the person is not meeting the goals you have set together, despite your continuous and genuine help, be open and tell that. Be direct when you do that, deliver the seriousness of the situation, elaborate a plan together to get past it (you can start from point one and point two), and eventually make sure the person is aware of where they stand.

If you do that confidently, at the very least the dismissal will not come as a surprise. Of course, you cannot be open to the ones remaining regarding the reasons for the dismissal, and yet they will trust that there’s a reason (because you are following a process) and that they are not in danger (because you are going through the same process with them too).