An important reminder by Bernadette Jiwa.
If you want to be listened, begin with listening.
If you want to be heard, begin with hearing.
If you want to lead, begin with opening to the people you want to lead.
If you want to sell something, begin with understanding the people you want to sell to.
It is that easy.
The first time I was in a leadership role, I struggled very much to understand the unwanted consequences of what a leader says and does.
The illusion is often that you can still behave like a peer, or a friend.
Yet people will look for direction, not for jokes. They will look for reassurance, not for stress. They will look for development, not for undirected and generic feedback.
Grasp this soon when you become a leader, and understand that your words and actions are now under a different type of scrutiny. The whole team will benefit from it.
I have done some of my best job under pressure and deadlines. Thing is, that pressure, those deadlines, they were not imposed from the outside. They were consequences of me feeling responsible for a project, a document, a team, a deliverable.
If you impose pressure and deadlines, particularly when you do not share clear reasoning (as in “we do this because it helps us this way”), people might still do the job. Great job, though, needs internalization.
There’s a gap between you and everyone else.
A gap between what you do and what they do. A gap between what you want and what they want. A gap between how you think things should be run and how they think things should be run. A gap between what you believe is true and what they believe is true. A gap between how you see yourself in ten years and how they see themselves (and yourself) in ten years.
It is quite easy and instinctual, in front of the gap, to either impose our point of view or completely give it up. Both are ways to avoid conflict. “You better do what I say!” or “Ok, let’s do it your way..” are shortcuts for the short terms. They work for a while. Until the other, or we, realise what it’s been renounced. Then we find the gap is still there, only wider.
Another option, more difficult to practice, taking more effort, energy and empathy, is to work to build a bridge over the gap. You build a little bit on your side, the other builds a little bit on their side. Both work to make their sides more solid, and eventually, with time, the two parts will meet.
The meeting point is something completely new, as it is not your side nor it is the other’s side. It is a new perspective, a new idea, a new way of acting, a new vision for your common future. Built on common understanding.
Great thing about bridges, others can walk on them too.
Content marketing cannot just be an excuse to collect an email address.
I give you my contact because I am interested in one piece of your content. You follow up to ask if I enjoyed it, and then you start sending out regular emails I have not asked for, on topics that barely touch on my initial interest, widening the range as time goes by. And the bottom line of each of these communication is the exhortation: “buy!”.
This is not how it’s supposed to work. This is not how it’s supposed to be effective.
It’s not, because you are breaking an early relationship based on trust. I have trusted you with my contact, and you have trusted me with your piece of content. And then, what? How would you treat a human being in a face-to-face interaction, after the initial exchange of trust?
Perhaps, asking them what their interests are. Sending them something similar to what made them give you trust, and carefully see if it works. Answering their questions if they have any. Politely enquiring on what can be done to improve the relationship.
And at some point, draw the line and quit.
There must be a moment, a time, when you’ve tried enough. A moment when it’s clear it was just a temporary exchange more than a real interest. A time when sending one additional email is more damaging than not sending it.
In a world in which everything is free (only in monetary terms), we are not used to design the “quit” stage. And yet, one of the most remarkable marketing email I remember is the one of a company who did.
You've got this 