Tag: relationships

Your game

FabrizioLeave a comment

You choose the rules of your game.

You choose where to start from, what is allowed and what not, what winning looks like, and which other players are in the same game.

This is not an easy task, and that is the reason why many of us play someone else’s game.

It is not an easy task, but when you are done, you stick to it. You do not change the basics every time things get tough, you do not go against the rules to get an easy win, you do not kick out players because they are getting better at it.

Make it a fair, long term game. You will win.

Attached

FabrizioLeave a comment

We get attached to things, and that hurts the most.

We get attached to things that bear no real weight in our lives. Winning or losing an argument will not make us a better human being. Getting promoted or not will not make us a better worker. A higher or a lower salary will often not change our lifestyle that much. The new idea we have failed to promote and develop will not make of us a failure.

We get attached to things, and we should just let go.

That is when a wealth of possibilities will unfold.

The way forward

FabrizioLeave a comment

When in doubt take a step back, give support, be generous, help.

Building barricades and having it your way might give you a temporary sense of control, the feeling you are about to win. It is very rarely the case.

Kindness is the only way forward.

Ideas out

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you put your idea out, it is the whole world to you.

For anybody else, it is just one of the hundreds heard in the past few days.

This is a gap that drives a lot of misunderstanding (“that’s not what I meant!“), frustration (“they do not care!“), and missed opportunities (“I give up!“).

It is a gap that is your responsibility to fill.

And so, when you put your idea out.

Go straight to the point. We might get interested in the background story at some point, definitely not the first time we get in touch. What do you do? Why do I care? Keep it short, actually shorter.

Make it stand out. You will not break through the noise if you just repeat what others are saying. The way they are saying it. My idea will increase your team’s productivity! It will save you money! It will make your floors shine brighter! Pass.

Make it relevant. And I am not sure if I should rather say specific. Generic messages that aim for the masses are doomed these days. Aim carefully, and craft it as if your audience’s well being would depend on it.

Gripes go up

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you are in a position of power, be mindful not to complain to people who report to you.

Work is probably tougher, you are asked to juggle a load of different tasks, you are supposed to find time to talk to people, you negotiate, compromise, often work after hours, and I am sure at times it feels like simply too much to handle.

Yet, no one has forced that position onto you. You have a role that reflects the additional burdens, and most likely a salary that does that too. And if people who report to you can find the empathy to appreciate your difficulties, you are certainly more equipped (or you should be) to find the empathy to not push your frustration down the ranks.

Your organization might be flat, your management style open, friendly, and transparent.

But gripes go up.

That’s the only way you can affect change.

Private Reiben: Hey, so, Captain, what about you? I mean, you don’t gripe at all?

Captain Miller: I don’t gripe to you, Reiben. I’m a captain. There’s a chain of command. Gripes go up, not down. Always up. You gripe to me, I gripe to my superior officer, so on, so on, and so on. I don’t gripe to you. I don’t gripe in front of you.

Save Private Ryan