We all have our moments of tranquillity. It’s when our breath is calm, our senses undisturbed, our mind dreamy, our body unshaken. In such moments, nothing bad can happen to us, and all the stories we tell ourselves are leading exactly where we want to go.
Of course, moments of tranquillity are volatile. Just make sure you notice them as they come and go.
You can find great lessons everywhere, even in books you are just reading for pleasure and enjoyment.
“There is satisfaction,” he said to Dalinar, “in creating a list of things you can actually accomplish, then removing them one at a time. As I said, a simple joy.”
“Unfortunately, I’m needed for bigger things than shopping.”
“Isn’t that always the problem? Tell me, my friend. You talk about your burdens and the difficulty of the decision. What is the cost of a principle?”
“The cost? There shouldn’t be a cost to being principled.”
“Oh? […] Isn’t a principle about what you give up, not what you gain?”
“So it’s all negative?” Dalinar said. “Are you implying that nobody should have principles, because there’s no benefit to them?”
“Hardly,” Nohadon said. “But maybe you shouldn’t be looking for life to be easier because you choose to do something that is right! Personally, I think life is fair. It’s merely that often, you can’t immediately see what balances it.”
Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer
There’s plenty of leaders out there these days delivering bad news. And if there’s one thing they should avoid when the time comes, is trying to frame it in a positive light. Particularly if they do not give space to the receiver to digest it all and get there themselves.
Sure, laying employees off can help caring for kids who are forced to stay home, give people the time to take that training, and dedicate hours to the hobby they have neglected.
But if you, as a leader, suggest that, you are merely trying to make it easier for you to deliver the news. It is a selfish act, one that is not needed.
Expectations have the power to shape our reality.
When we go into a situation with low expectations, chances are we will be positively surprised. And the other way around, of course.
This is even more true, and somehow brutal, when applied to relationships. What we expect of and from people vastly impacts the way we think about them, the way we evaluate them and ultimately the way we behave with them.
Nobody can go without expectations.
But we can label them as such, and accept the fact that they are probably unrealistic, as they take only our perspective into consideration.
When we succeed in this, we open up to a whole new set of experiences we can learn from. We end up growing, gradually mitigating future expectations, and eventually behaving with people the way they wish to be treated (vs the way we wish to be treated).
Expectations are like thoughts. We decide how much power to give them.
What habits do you know you would stick to no matter what?
Developing habits takes time and dedication, and yet once the habit becomes such, it’s the most solid thing to fall back upon in times of need.
It is worth the effort.
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