Tag: fear

Oneself

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Being in touch with oneself helps stay sane in these insane days.

Knowing what’s going on inside, being able to name feelings, flagging thoughts as mere thoughts (vs reality), catching signals from one’s body, sharing concerns and fears with loved ones. All this is more important than being informed on the latest numbers and the progresses towards the development of a vaccine.

We have the power to act on us, and that’s pretty much all we have control on. Whether there’s a pandemic ongoing or not.

Rules

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Setting rules is necessary in some cases. And it’s also exhausting for both parts.

The one who sets the rule needs to first come up with the rule, then communicate it, then enforce it, punish non compliance and adapt the rule so that it gets to cover new cases and new behaviour.

The one who is subjected to the rule needs to understand it, absorb it, find ways to work within the boundaries set by it, and perhaps at some point fight to have it changed.

There are few things that create a greater divide than rules.

If you truly have to set one, be sure it comes from a place of recognized expertise and authority, it is well communicated and it is open-ended.

And despite the best efforts, be prepared to have the bond of trust broken.

Uncertain

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Life is uncertain.

We try to build walls around it, yet it continues to escape. Nobody could have predicted what the world is experiencing just two months ago. Nobody can argue they know what will happen in the next two.

Of course, we are living an extreme case.

But life IS uncertain, and we know it. We know how difficult it is to build a career, to make a relationship work, to be consistent in time, to raise kids, to plan for retirement, to stick to our own word, to make it worth it.

Things happen that are completely out of our control, all the time, and we suffer most when we attempt to give a sense, write a story, change it all.

There’s a way to prepare for uncertain. It is recognizing uncertainty and accept it as a given.

There can be reassurance in the chaos that surrounds us if we just stop pretending it is something we can fix.

Obligation

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The reverence, adoration, awe reserved to people in leadership positions is what in most cases will make them lose their authority and power.

If you really care about the person, if you like them, want to work with them, want to learn from them, want them to stay in the job for as long as they decide to, then you owe them a challenge, a question, a contrarian point of view, a new idea, a plan they had not though about, a truth they did not want to hear. It is your obligation.

Absorbed

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When you are absorbed into something for a continued period, you end up hating that thing, wanting to run away from it, falling for the first new object in front of you.

Of course, that does not reflect your true feelings, it’s just a reaction. To being depleted, to not getting where you want to go, to the fact you had to leave behind a lot of other different, possible things.

And of course, that is also the moment you have to stick with it. Take a break, leave it for a while, enjoy something less absorbing, and eventually go back to your obsession to find it renewed.

It’s the only way to become a pro.