Tag: fear

The first time

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The first time you catch yourself blaming your not doing something on an external factor is the very moment you should stop complaining and start doing.

I can’t do that because I do not have time.

I can’t do that because my partner would not agree.

I can’t do that because my boss would not praise me.

I can’t do that because society would not accept me.

Instead, the first time is often the beginning of a series of excuses we use to not put in the work. It is a place to hide, a wall we build, it is resistance. If you can’t do it the first time, do it the second, the third, the tenth, the hundredth. Do it sooner rather than later. Do it now.

Maximum effect

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Who is your main antagonist?

Is it the person cutting the line? Is it your partner who does not understand what you want? Is it your friend that never calls you? Is it that big company with unlimited resources to come after you? Is it the new start-up that does not play by the rules? Is it the government trying to regulate a previously unregulated field? Is it the customer who does not understand the change you are making in the world? Is it your boss who cannot see you for what you are really worth?

Or is it you?

Your bad day, your contrasting goals, your lack of capabilities, your unwillingness to compromise, your rigidity, your inability to express your needs, your stretching yourself too thin.

Put your focus where you can maximise the effect.

Urgent and change

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Urgent usually comes from one person. It is a way to counter a fear, a discomfort, a stressor. It spreads very fast, it gets things done, and it kills motivation.

Change on the other hand is usually a collective action. It is pursued in reaction to a habit, a behaviour, an action, a system. It takes time, it has a non-linear progress, and it gives purpose.

What are you working on these days?

A matter of doing

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The difference between reading of examples and setting the example is a matter of doing.

It is not a matter of knowing. Knowing more, knowing more accurate information, knowing the right people, knowing how to get ahead, knowing all of the shortcuts and hacks.

It is not a matter of being. Being better, being more educated, being in the right circle, being on time, being perfect, being more capable.

It is not a matter of having. Having more resources, having the slack necessary to innovate, having the greatest talents, having all the degrees, having a flawless background.

All these things can help, and if you have them all the better.

But in the end what matters is putting up with the tediousness and repetitiveness of doing, and sticking to it even when something new knocks at your door, even when no one is holding you accountable, even when it hurts.

Sprinting

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Most of us set a target and then sprint towards it.

The fact is, what matters it that you get to the target, and in most cases how fast you are has very little importance. Sprinting is a distraction, it can deplete resources, it is wasted focus. And it hinders experiencing the journey, depriving the target of most of its meaning.