Tag: fear

Compromised

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you underplay a problem that was brought to your attention, you are compromising the relationship.

You might have very good reasons to do that. Perhaps the problem is not a problem to you. Perhaps you are scared the problem might jeopardize your status. Perhaps you just have no idea what to do about it. Perhaps you are set on your goals and targets and do not want to get distracted.

You pretend it is not there, and the other person is impatiently waiting for your response.

You just have to ask yourself: is it worth it?

Like what you do

FabrizioLeave a comment

Like what you do is a much better advise than do what you like.

There is fulfillment, completeness, pride in shipping. It is an opportunity that is here and now, while on the other hand embarking in the search for a passion pushes our target always a bit farther.

Doing is all there is, and when you make of it a habit, you have already achieved your success.

They started it!

Fabrizio2 Comments

If someone does something you would not, that is not a good reason to go and do it yourself.

Sticking to your values, your best behavior, the best version of yourself is easy when everyone around is nice, pleasant, and accommodating. But can you do it also when you meet the asshole, when your boss sets a negative example, when your group is up to something you would not normally be proud of?

They started it! is a weak excuse for grown ups.

Bridge

FabrizioLeave a comment

When one gets squeezed between two opposing forces, it is quite usual to start depicting both forces as enemies.

Lousy middle management is a great representation of this.

Middle managers are at the crossroads of contrasting needs and ambitions, and the result can easily get to “management has unreasonable expectations” and “my team is lazy and ineffective“.

Of course, this is a divisive approach. Soon enough everybody hates everybody, nobody is happy, and things never get done.

Being in the middle, though, also means having the opportunity to build a bridge. To stop and sit down and listen to what those needs and ambitions are about, help each part to formulate them in a way that makes sense to the other, and finding ways to be helpful and support action in a common direction.

It takes time, energy, and a lot of confidence in ourselves and others. And it always pays off.

Feelings and stories

FabrizioLeave a comment

If it feels like you are stuck in life, try expanding the time frame. You might be the same as one month ago, or one year ago, but what about three years, five years, ten years ago?

And should that not work, try changing the stick you use to measure. You might have been in the same role for a while, but what about your personal life, your circle of friends, your involvement with the local community?

The point is, if it feels like you are stuck in life, it is most likely just a feeling, and feelings come and go, as long as you do not transform them into stories.