Change is inevitable, constant, and necessary.
And when you think about being an agent of change, there is one simple thing that is worth remembering: start with yourself.
Changing yourself is possible, it is under your control, and chances are that by changing yourself you are also going to change the people and the world around you.
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
Rumi
Persistent means little without a direction.
You can endure adversities, continue despite opposition, resist most of what is thrown at you. And the best you can wish for is to end up somewhere that is not too bad.
Choose what to stick to before adventuring farther.
When you walk into a difficult conversation, check expectations, preconceptions, narratives at the door. You will have done 90% of the job.
That does not mean you are supposed to go unprepared. It just means leaving out the natural tendency to focus on things that reinforce negative ideas, and making an intentional effort to notice something positive that might be said, done, experienced.
It’s how you bring your better self into the moment. It’s how you unlock deep listening, sincere curiosity, empathic sharing. It’s how you build the connection that is necessary to talk about serious stuff.
It’s how you move forward.
First perfect the making of the dough, then go buy the perfect oven and tools to cook the best pizza.
First learn to communicate transparently and effectively, then go buy the app that makes your company more open and inclusive.
First establish a practice of running, then go buy the equipment that will make you feel more like a pro.
It’s easier to start with the details that embellish the core. It makes us feel as if we are doing something important, as if we are going in the right direction. But if you do not get the core right, you have nothing to fall back onto when you realize details are just details.
The place where I usually do grocery shopping recently changed the small bags for fresh produces. They used to have a type with strap handles, and now they have one with no handles. That bothered me. Because before it was easy to close them, while now they are left open, and fruit and vegetables come out when I am at the counter.
Today my 7-years old daughter came with me. She took a small bag with no handles, put pears in it, and closed it with no efforts. She took another one, put tomatoes in it, and again closed it with no efforts.
The point is that we are creatures of habit.
We tend to do things the same way we always did, even when things change, even when it does not work anymore. And that’s why it is valuable to have somebody who does things differently around, somebody who has a different background, who thinks in a different way, who never before had the chance to get used to small produce bags with handles.
The first step is to recognize we do not have all the answers. It is easier said than done.
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