Tag: empathy

Ideas out

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When you put your idea out, it is the whole world to you.

For anybody else, it is just one of the hundreds heard in the past few days.

This is a gap that drives a lot of misunderstanding (“that’s not what I meant!“), frustration (“they do not care!“), and missed opportunities (“I give up!“).

It is a gap that is your responsibility to fill.

And so, when you put your idea out.

Go straight to the point. We might get interested in the background story at some point, definitely not the first time we get in touch. What do you do? Why do I care? Keep it short, actually shorter.

Make it stand out. You will not break through the noise if you just repeat what others are saying. The way they are saying it. My idea will increase your team’s productivity! It will save you money! It will make your floors shine brighter! Pass.

Make it relevant. And I am not sure if I should rather say specific. Generic messages that aim for the masses are doomed these days. Aim carefully, and craft it as if your audience’s well being would depend on it.

Better not ask

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Sometimes we do not ask because we do not want to be an annoyance.

Our team needs a new tool to do their job, but the company is going through a difficult period, better not ask.

Our customers need a new feature, but Product already has their hands full, better not ask.

Our prospects do not understand our message, but management is solid on their vision, better not ask.

Of course, not asking simply means we are shifting the annoyance on somebody else, somebody who has less power, who is farther, whom complaints we cannot hear. Our team, our customers, our prospects.

Next time you are not asking, consider who you are annoying with your inaction. It’s a trade off, after all.

Distinctive

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When things do not go as planned, and you have to break the news to those who have helped, to those who have offered their ideas, their energy, their work, there is one thing that can make it worse.

Blaming the change of plan to others.

Of course, it works in the moment. It pushes away the shame for the loss, the difficult conversation, the necessary argument.

But as you regroup and start delivering against the new plan, no one will feel committed.

Find a reason to believe in instead, and motivate the changes with passion. Even when it was not you making the call, especially when it was not you making the call. Nobody likes change, but everyone is willing to accept it, if it makes sense.

Long term is always more important than short term. That is the distinctive sign of leadership.

Damages

FabrizioLeave a comment

Scoring a point, winning an argument, having it your way.

They might all seem like great things, except the damages they make are often greater than the satisfaction they bring.

If you find this difficult to grasp, think back at the last time you failed to score a point, you lost an argument, you did not have it your way.

What you felt back then is the same your counterpart is feeling today. And you know for a fact, it is not a feeling that it is easy to shake off, not a sentiment on which it is possible to build a strong relationship.

And so I guess the question would be: is it worth it?

Personal

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you start thinking that somebody has done something to hurt you, offend you or cut you off, do two things.

Take a break.

Reach out and have a conversation.