Category: self-help

Bending the rules

Fabrizio1 Comment

We are all subject to the pitfalls of “this time will be different”.

Sometimes ago, I was listening to a podcast featuring Guy Kawasaki. Guy promotes a pretty interesting and well known framework for presentations – the 10/20/30 rule. That is to say 10 slides, in 20 minutes, with text on the slides set at a minimum of 30 points.

Despite people knowing about his “rule”, he was amazed by the fact they were still pitching ideas to him with presentations that did not respect any of those precepts. When the host asked why he thought that happened, he said that people always tend to think that the rule does not apply to them: “Sure, I know about the rule, but that does not apply to me. My idea is the most interesting, what I have to say is incredibly powerful, my insights are superb. This time will be different, I promise.”

It turns out, it almost never is.

A slightly different version of the pitfall is “this time alone”.

Working with start-ups, I have often heard the mantra: “this is not who we are, we’ll do it this time alone, and when things will start getting traction, we’ll finally be able to act the way we really, deeply, sincerely are”. Of course, if you are eventually lucky enough to get some traction, you’ll have forgotten and most likely shit on how you really, deeply, sincerely are. No reason to go about searching for excuses.

Some rules are set for you, some you get to set.

I am not promoting absolute obedience and compliance, yet we should be aware of these traps and be completely honest about a fact. When we start bending the rules, chances are we are starting to bend ourselves as well. We ought to make sure we are doing that in a direction we’ll feel confident and proud about the morning after.

What do others get?

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What do other people get if you achieve what you want?

If you have a target, and you are committed to it, the best way to approach it is to first figure out what others have to gain. Your colleagues, your boss, the other managers, your company, your stakeholders.

It’s a great exercise to keep your wants in check. Is this really the best thing in this situation? Does it still make sense after so much time? Am I being too selfish, unreasonable, unrealistic? How many people are going to end up better off after I win?

And it is also a way to start thinking how to get buy-in. You always need buy-in, you do not operate in solitary. Having an argument that goes beyond “because it’s good for me” (or any variation of it) is a huge step towards getting it.

Peak performance

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The message of Peak Performance, by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness, is as simple to understand as it is difficult to apply in practice.

Stress + rest = growth

That is to say, if you alternate periods of intense work, work that takes you a little beyond your limits, yet not too much, with periods of relax and rest, your potential will increase. And this is true both for athletes and knowledge workers.

The illusion of “always busy“, then, is not only bad for your narrative and your relationships, but also for your possibility to deliver your best work and to incrementally and progressively increase what “best” is to you.

If you think at all the times you came up with a solution to your problems, or a new idea, or a different approach to a tricky situation during moments of break (in the shower, during a walk outside, while playing with your kids), the message should easily resonate with you. On the other hand, think about how often you have managed to overcome a difficult situation by continuing to work relentlessly. Never, right?

And yet, we often fall in that trap. Sometimes because of peer pressure, sometimes because we feel guilty, more often simply because we are not sure what we are doing is good work, and we try to compensate by doing a lot. We end up being over-stressed, and this is never a very good idea.

Stress can be positive, triggering desirable adaptations in the body; or stress can be negative, causing grave damage and harm. The effects of stress depend almost entirely on the dose.

The book is full of examples of high performers, in different areas, and all seem to respect the growth equation that is the foundation of Peak Performance. And on top of that, they have pretty rigid and established routines.

Routines help keeping you focused on what you are doing in different moments of the day. They leave little space for excuses and resistance, they force you to show up and to be present with body and mind.

There’s a pretty good example on how to apply this principle for day-to-day work: the authors suggest to split your days in chunks of 50 to 90 minutes (depending on the type of work), followed by 7 to 20 minutes of rest.

In the words of the writer James Clear, “The single greatest skill in any endeavor is doing the work. Not doing the work that is easy for you. Not doing the work that makes you look good. Not doing the work when you feel inspired. Just doing the work.”

The final part of the book is dedicated to a very important part of performance: purpose. There’s quite a lot of evidence that having a purpose that “transcends ourselves”, that goes beyond the immediate, short-term gains, makes us bring out the best work we could possibly do. And more than that, it increases our capability to accept stress, widening the growth leaps in the equation.

In situations that feel scary or overwhelming, our brain—our central governor, our ego, our “self”—automatically tries to protect us from failure. It shuts us down and tells us to turn in the other direction. Even if failure doesn’t mean physical injury, our ego doesn’t like emotional injury, either—it doesn’t want to risk getting embarrassed, so it ushers us down the safe route. It’s only when we transcend our “self” that we can break through our self-imposed limits.

 

Great communicators

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There’s a general belief that a great talker is also a great communicator. That might be true, and yet I find that most often it is not.

The way I see it, there are three core qualities of a great communicator (that a great talker not necessarily has).

First, great communicators craft their messages carefully. I mean this in the broadest possible way. A good framework to look at it through is Grice’s maxims: quality (a message that is true), quantity (a message that is no more than what required), relevance (a message that is pertinent to the discussion) and manner (a message that is orderly, polite and clear).

Then, great communicators are consistent in their messages. They are not afraid of repeating, as they are aware that different people absorb information at different paces. Furthermore, having the message well-crafted allows them to experiment with channels and formats in ways that benefit the spreading of the message in the long term.

Finally, great communicators have profound understanding of their audience. This is also true in a broad way: they know who they are communicating with before the communication actually happens; they are awake and aware to signals from the audience while the communication is undergoing; and they are capable of redesigning (without losing consistency), learning from feedback and sentiment they perceive after the communication is over.

If you want to be a great communicator, talking a lot and well is not enough. Establishing a relationship aimed at some type of change is much more important. And much more complicated.

Top of mind

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If a blurry beverage cup appears by mistake in the most popular TV series ever, clearly out of place, and everybody thinks it belongs to your brand, you have won the lottery.

Better put, you are reaping the benefits of decades of hard work making the association between take-away (hot) drinks and your brand immediate. Top-of-mind.

Every company, every person can have the same.

What do people think about when they think of you? Or, what kind of things make people think of you? How do you position yourself? It is a long and winding road, one that is built on a foundation of awareness and purpose. But boy, it is worth it.

You can easily be a guy from marketing, or you can work your way to being the guy we call every time we have to write incredibly effective copy. You can quickly become part of the team, or you can make the effort to be the one who spots and (most importantly) solves difficult problems before others even notice them. You are certainly part of our community, or you can go out of your way to go collect the trash that someone has left on the path that many kids walk everyday to daycare.

Branding and positioning is great for companies, and even greater for individuals. The great news is that the circle that acknowledges your traits needs not be greater than your family or your closest friends.