It’s normal to want others to change.
Our kids should behave, our friend should quit smoking, our colleague should be more productive, our partner should be more like yourself, our boss should be more available.
But for as noble as our intentions might be, the reality is that others don’t see the world through our eyes.
The only thing we can hope for is to help them find their way.
There might be many wrong aspects in these emails (and some good too), but the key thing here is that they reflect a bias – or a series of bias – that many founders fall for.
It’s the idea that just because they do work (successfully in this case, but that is not necessary) in a certain way, then everybody else is supposed to do that too.
It’s the idea that by doing more of the same they will automatically scale the results.
It’s the idea that in order for their employees to show they care, they need to conform and comply.
This is typically building an enormous blind spot for founders and their companies. And that’s very dangerous in the long term.
There are many myths in marketing, that marketers would do better forgetting about. Or at least, putting them in the right context.
A/B testing is one such myth. Not because it doesn’t work, it’s a fantastic idea. But the organisations and the marketing teams that can do A/B testing effectively are only a few.
For that, you need a high enough traffic, a high enough budget, a set-up that allows you to track and compare things, and most importantly consistency and patience. And even when you have all of that, more often than not you will get misleading or contradicting results.
Instead of falling in the measurement trap, focus on basics: who is your customer, what they care about, where do they hang out, why should they pick you. This is going to deliver far more solid results than any weak testing you might be wasting your time with.
No matter what your role is inside an organization, you have the power to change the things you see not working. Much more than you think you do.
You might think that those above you condone a negative behavior or a flawed process, but the reality is that most likely they are simply not aware of them. Or they don’t have the bandwidth to jump on them. Or they have initiated the behavior or the process with completely different intentions and failed to follow up.
If you hide behind that excuse, be mindful that it is just you hiding.
Most feedback features an I and a you.
I like what you did.
I feel you are not motivated enough.
I believe this is what you should do.
It’s the opinion of one person – often against the opinion of another person -, and the effectiveness of this kind of feedback depends on the status of the one giving it. Even in the best case scenario, even if the feedback gets through, it is because of compliance.
A more effective feedback features a what, an how, a why, and a couple more whats.
What happened?
How did it go? – in relation to shared goals.
Why did things go like that?
What will be different next time?
What can I do to help?
It’s the feedback that helps reflection and learning. Status has zero relevance, in fact this format can be used by anyone with anybody. And when the feedback is successful, you have lasting change.
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