Persuadable

Being persuadable is about actively open-minded thinking. That is to say, it is not enough to be open to evidence that goes against our own beliefs. One has to seek that out.

Some good ways to practice that.

  • Ask yourself why you think a certain way, how you could be wrong, what alternative explanations might there be.
  • Think in shades of gray rather than in black and white – it is easier to update your beliefs incrementally, it is more difficult to completely change your mind.
  • Prepare to kill your beliefs by decatastrophizing – asking what is the worst thing that could happen? has the power to bring catastrophic outcomes down to earth.
  • Make time to consider other people’s perspective (before a meeting, before a talk, before a difficult conversation).

If you do that consistently, you gain in accuracy (getting closer to “reality”), agility (overcoming the status quo bias and the sunk cost fallacy), and growth (using feedback to improve).

And, contrary to common belief, you will not give up autonomy and self-determination.

Autonomy doesn’t mean reflexively resisting all external influences. That would be impossible, not to mention foolish. It means taking actions that “are both personally valued and well synthesized with the totality of one’s values and beliefs” regardless of who suggests those actions.

Al Pittampalli, Persuadable
Persuadable, by Al Pittampalli - Book Cover
Persuadable, by Al Pittampalli – Book Cover

Change is additive

Change does not wipe away what was. It builds on it.

And when we change, it is often so that what we build looks way too similar to what was. After all, it is easier to fall back on what is known than it is to imagine the unknown.

It is ok, as change is an additive process. It is made of layers on top of each others. Some familiar, some peculiar. While you go, you will realize that change is happening, even when it does not seem so.

That is when you start to appreciate the journey and understand that the destination is mere chance.

The primary driver

It is extremely important to dedicate time to intentionally define success.

And while doing that, you have to consider the difference between success that is dependent on your own actions and success that is dependent on others’ actions or environmental circumstances.

An example.

Say you want to write a blog post a week for the next year.

Actually writing a blog post a week for the next year depends pretty much solely on you. You should have started yesterday, you could start now, you can do it. It is up to you.

Getting people to read your blog post every week, having an increasing audience month after month, closing the year with 1,000 people registered to your newsletter. These are all things that do not depend on you. Of course, you can try to influence those, but truth is you have no idea if any of that is going to happen.

So, when you define success make the distinction.

That does not mean that finding an audience, increasing your list, getting your content to more and more people does not matter. It is just out of your control, and it should never be the primary driver for your doing.

Use what you want to run from

Your boss who seems so confident is afraid too.

The colleague who has always something relevant to share is anxious too.

That speaker you love for the way they thrill the audience is nervous too.

The successful entrepreneur you are reading about is worried too.

The point is not making fear, anxiety, and the like go away. The point is using them to your advantage. Can fear push you to get out of your comfort zone and see what is out there? Can anxiety help you run through different scenarios and find them not as scary as they initially seemed? Can nervousness be the reason why you practice one more time? Can worry fire up a need to consult different perspective without getting stuck?

Make the most of what you have, even when at first it seems like something you just want to run away from.

Bad bosses

Do employees quit bad bosses?

As a matter of fact, they do.

And they do quit organizations that provide inadequate training and promotional opportunities, bonuses, and non-cash benefits, that foster (willingly or unwillingly) a negative climate, that assign insignificant tasks, or repetitive tasks, that do not leave enough autonomy, that do not give enough support.

The fact is, there is quite a lot that an organization and its leadership can do to prevent people from leaving. And considering the cost of voluntary turnover, the sooner they get to it, the better.