Author: Fabrizio

Agree and disagree

Fabrizio3 Comments

Always make an effort to start with what you agree on.

We are wired to focus on the negative feedback, on the opposite opinions, on the rejections, on the new ideas. And so, we need intention to spot agreement.

Next time you get a difficult email, a new plan, a lengthy piece of feedback, a written comment, the notes from a difficult conversation, the minutes of a heated meeting. Print it out, take two markers of different color, highlight what you agree on with one and what you disagree on with the other.

Be honest and impartial. You will have set yourself on a learning path.

Eager

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It is great to be excited about something, to be enthusiastic, to be waiting for it, to prepare and make sure everyone gets the best out of the experience.

It is way less great when the attitude gets past excitement and shifts to eagerness. Eager as in sour, bitter, rough, forceful, pungent. It is when you do not leave others space. When you cut others short to make a point. When saying what you think to know is more important than letting others tell of their experience. When you make decisions without consulting, when you change the work without informing, when you demand agreement without explaining, when you take the spotlight without elevating.

Enthusiasm is contagious. But if you are eager instead, you will go alone.

The ruler

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We all measure success by some kind of ruler, and this ruler needs to have two characteristics.

It needs to be consistent. So that you can measure ups and downs over time, and maintain the course on the same objective (or set of objectives).

And it needs to be relevant. To you, and to those you seek to serve, your audience, your people.

If you change the ruler, distort the scale, zoom in and zoom out, what you get is not a consistent and relevant measure of your success.

Raising the bar

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Why would I?

Wear a mask.

Commit to that project.

Take the first step to mend a relationship.

Respect the rules.

Be kind to others.

Pay taxes.

Give back to the community.

Sit down and just listen.

Not lie.

When nobody else is doing it?

It is a way of hiding that lowers the bar. In your family, your company, your circle, your life. Chances are that nobody is acting out of habit, ignorance, laziness. Perhaps all they need is somebody who shows them a different way.

That somebody could be you.

Broken trust

Fabrizio2 Comments

Trust is given, trust is built, trust is broken.

And when it is broken, it needs repairing.

A great way to go about this is to start with “I am sorry”. And honestly stop there. At the very least until the other party signals that they are ready to move forward, under a tacit agreement that trust will not be broken again.

A lazy way to go about this is one of the infinite variations of “it’s not my fault”. For sure, you were busy, a pandemic hit, the circumstances were exceptional, the end of the quarter was around the corner. A wide array of ways to simply say: “listen, I can’t commit, trust will be broken again.”

A bad way to go about this is to pretend nothing happened. To go about your day as if everything was fine, as if no break needed repairing, as if the other person would not be telling you over and over again that there is a problem. This does not lay the ground for any type of future relationship. It is just a loud and clear: “I do not care”.