Most of the pressure we feel is of our own making.
When we manage to take a step aside and ask important questions (why do I want this? what do I need? what is the worst thing that could happen?) we find the space to breath.
People in our lives are fine with attention and kindness. All we add on top of that is up to us.
What do you do when you miss an appointment, forget about something, fail to do what you promised you would?
You can hide, delay the difficult conversation until it gets too late to actually have it, never talk about that again, and miss the opportunity to own your lapse and grow.
Or you can say “I am sorry”.
Choose with intention.
Some companies decide to keep things loose. They have little hierarchy, initiatives can come from a variety of places as a response to a variety of inputs (customers, markets, intuition, experience, data, trials, mistakes, etc.), and the flexibility of the company makes it so it can adapt to changes and decisions fairly quickly without a lot of guidance.
Other companies decide to put structure around things. They build a clear hierarchy, initiatives often come from the top as a response to a limited amount of inputs (often gut feeling and previous experience), and the rigor of the company makes it so it will adapt to changes as quick as an heavy amount of guidance is deployed through its rank.
There is no right or wrong, you just have to figure out what works best for you and for the people that work with you and around you.
There is also a third kind of company. It is the company that puts structure while still wanting to keeping it loose. The company where decisions come from the top with the expectation that people will accept them just because. The company that pays lip service to the importance of its people while at the same time keeping them limited to tasks and urgencies. The company that struggles more than the others to adapt and change, just because nobody has a clear idea of what the hell is going on.
There are more company of the third kind than there are of the first and second combined.
You do not want your company to be of the third kind.
If after a run your muscle don’t hurt and you are not short on breath, it probably means you have not exercised hard enough. You are ready for the next level.
Similarly, if you do not feel like you are a fraud and you are letting everyone down with what you do daily, it probably means you are way within your comfort level. You are ready for the next level.
We grow with challenges. And we should seek them regularly to continue our development.
Writing things down, making a public commitment, pinning an item on the calendar.
To some these actions mean being one step farther to actually doing.
It is a form of resistance. It does not matter if we are in charge or if someone else is in charge. The very same moment we are saying “I am going to do it”, an almost unconscious reaction is triggered that goes the opposite way: “I am not going to do it”.
The only cure is to deeply understand that no one cares.
Your boss might be disappointed, they will still be your boss. Your company might lose some money, they will most likely survive. Your friends are going to stop relying on you, and go find other friends. Your project will probably be delayed, and your audience is going to seek something else to give attention to.
The only one person who has deeply to lose from this behavior is you.
You've got this 