Author: Fabrizio

Own the silence

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It’s ok to be quite.

There is no rule that tells you should be taking your turn in meetings, dumping words in an email threads, using a stopwatch to measure how long has been since you have said something.

Relevance is not measured by how loud or vocal you are.

It’s ok to be quite, and it’s ok to take a break from the constant hustle of demonstrating you know.

Try any of the following to better direct your effort.

Is there anything in particular you would like my input on?

I am not familiar with the issue, so I feel I can’t contribute much.

This is a topic I would like to discuss separately.

I agree with what was discussed so far.

Silence can be valuable, once you take ownership of it.

Under control

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One of the biggest and most painful mistakes you can make is to believe it is about you.

Things happen all the time, people have thoughts and feelings that make them behave one way or the other, words are said and opinions expressed more than we can appreciate. And it is not about you.

Making it personal is the opposite of committing. It is a way to hide, to postpone, to not do.

It is also a strong instict, as each one of us is the main character to their own story.

Just keep it under control.

Whenever you are ready

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Languishing is very real. And the best place you can start from is to acknowledge it is.

You might not yet be able to get out of this state, this weird absence of mental health, but self-awareness is always the first step towards something better.

Doing (without interruption) and connecting (with the intent to share) are great second steps, whenever you are ready.

Paths and doubts

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Having a path to follow, something you dedicate time consistently, does not mean you will not have doubts.

There will be times when you will question your choices. There will be plenty of alternatives. There will be many reasons why you should change. Actually, there will only be rare occasions when you will feel completely convinced that what you are doing is exactly what you should be doing.

Unless your doubts turn into pain – physical or emotional -, or unless they prove real – with data or facts to support them -, the best thing you can do with it is embrace it. Doubt is part of doing. More often than not, it tells you are on the right path. It can be additional motivation.

You can’t eradicate doubt, so try to make friends with it.

Not how it works

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Do something because you want to try.

Because you want to start a new habit, because it is a thing you might like, because you know that somebody will feel better. Do something because you are running out of time or because you have too much time on your hands. Do it because it makes sense, because it is the right thing to do, because you know you can handle it. Or perhaps to test yourself, to stretch your skills and build new muscles. Do something when you have nothing to do, when you have too much to do, when you feel down, and when you feel energetic.

But never do because you expect someone to do something in return.

That’s just not how it works.