The harshness of your ways is merely fear and pain.
Fear of something that might happen, of something that might repeat itself, of losing control, of being subject to judgement, of not meeting others’ expectations, of being hurt, of having to face the unknown.
Pain for something that has happened in your life, for not being able to reciprocate a feeling, for a scar that has not healed yet, for the too much effort you are putting in keeping things under your will, for the lack of rest and tranquillity.
If you find the courage to speak of fear and pain, you immediately take their power away. Your relationships will benefit from it greatly.