When somebody tells you that you are not ready for a project, a new challenge, a promotion, there are two ways you can react.
You can behave as if you were not given the responsibility. That’s easy, because you were not. It is the attitude of “why should I?”, of “it won’t matter”.
Or you can behave as if you were given the responsibility. Do what you would have. It is the attitude of “I can”, of “I will make it matter”.
Which one will you choose?
When you do something praiseworthy, you will get approval.
The feedback you get is going to make you feel good, and possibly you will set out to do some other things that will be worth the praise of your peers and audience.
Are you in it for the doing or for the approval?
That is a silly question to ask, because most likely you have mixed motives.
The question to ask, instead, is: would you do it anyway if there was no approval?
That’s how you define passion.
It’s ok to be quite.
There is no rule that tells you should be taking your turn in meetings, dumping words in an email threads, using a stopwatch to measure how long has been since you have said something.
Relevance is not measured by how loud or vocal you are.
It’s ok to be quite, and it’s ok to take a break from the constant hustle of demonstrating you know.
Try any of the following to better direct your effort.
Is there anything in particular you would like my input on?
I am not familiar with the issue, so I feel I can’t contribute much.
This is a topic I would like to discuss separately.
I agree with what was discussed so far.
Silence can be valuable, once you take ownership of it.
One of the biggest and most painful mistakes you can make is to believe it is about you.
Things happen all the time, people have thoughts and feelings that make them behave one way or the other, words are said and opinions expressed more than we can appreciate. And it is not about you.
Making it personal is the opposite of committing. It is a way to hide, to postpone, to not do.
It is also a strong instict, as each one of us is the main character to their own story.
Just keep it under control.
Having a path to follow, something you dedicate time consistently, does not mean you will not have doubts.
There will be times when you will question your choices. There will be plenty of alternatives. There will be many reasons why you should change. Actually, there will only be rare occasions when you will feel completely convinced that what you are doing is exactly what you should be doing.
Unless your doubts turn into pain – physical or emotional -, or unless they prove real – with data or facts to support them -, the best thing you can do with it is embrace it. Doubt is part of doing. More often than not, it tells you are on the right path. It can be additional motivation.
You can’t eradicate doubt, so try to make friends with it.
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