Most of the pressure we feel is of our own making.
When we manage to take a step aside and ask important questions (why do I want this? what do I need? what is the worst thing that could happen?) we find the space to breath.
People in our lives are fine with attention and kindness. All we add on top of that is up to us.
If after a run your muscle don’t hurt and you are not short on breath, it probably means you have not exercised hard enough. You are ready for the next level.
Similarly, if you do not feel like you are a fraud and you are letting everyone down with what you do daily, it probably means you are way within your comfort level. You are ready for the next level.
We grow with challenges. And we should seek them regularly to continue our development.
Writing things down, making a public commitment, pinning an item on the calendar.
To some these actions mean being one step farther to actually doing.
It is a form of resistance. It does not matter if we are in charge or if someone else is in charge. The very same moment we are saying “I am going to do it”, an almost unconscious reaction is triggered that goes the opposite way: “I am not going to do it”.
The only cure is to deeply understand that no one cares.
Your boss might be disappointed, they will still be your boss. Your company might lose some money, they will most likely survive. Your friends are going to stop relying on you, and go find other friends. Your project will probably be delayed, and your audience is going to seek something else to give attention to.
The only one person who has deeply to lose from this behavior is you.
Always make an effort to start with what you agree on.
We are wired to focus on the negative feedback, on the opposite opinions, on the rejections, on the new ideas. And so, we need intention to spot agreement.
Next time you get a difficult email, a new plan, a lengthy piece of feedback, a written comment, the notes from a difficult conversation, the minutes of a heated meeting. Print it out, take two markers of different color, highlight what you agree on with one and what you disagree on with the other.
Be honest and impartial. You will have set yourself on a learning path.
We all measure success by some kind of ruler, and this ruler needs to have two characteristics.
It needs to be consistent. So that you can measure ups and downs over time, and maintain the course on the same objective (or set of objectives).
And it needs to be relevant. To you, and to those you seek to serve, your audience, your people.
If you change the ruler, distort the scale, zoom in and zoom out, what you get is not a consistent and relevant measure of your success.
You've got this 