Tag: resistance

All year round

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Perhaps it’s because it’s Christmas. Perhaps somebody has done something nice for you. Perhaps you have just gotten an unexpected praise, or a long-waited message. Perhaps it’s the energy you are getting from having finally started that project you have been wondering about for so long. Perhaps it’s your family, your friends, your loved one. Or perhaps it’s just because that’s who you are, and you have always known it.

But if you got in the mindset of giving these days, if you are being kind and helpful, if you are saying “I see your point” and “That is interesting” more often than “You are wrong” and “That is stupid”, then just remember that there is no reason why you should not practice that all year round. Even when things are tough. Particularly when things are tough.

Merry Christmas.

Deep inside

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What we do is always a manifestation of something deep we feel inside.

When we shout, it might be because we got scared.

When we hit somebody, it might be because we feel insecure.

When we say something mean, it might be because we got treated unfairly.

That’s an explanation of course, but it should not be an excuse. We need to identify what’s deep inside, and tackle it with all our possible resources, because it’s difficult to get rid of the behavior if the feeling is still there.

Easy and difficult

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Managing projects is easy, managing people is difficult.

And that’s not because projects always succeed or achieve what they were supposed to achieve, but because they are made of tasks, timelines, deadlines, deliverables, priorities. All things that, one way or the other, even in the most difficult circumstances, are defined and controllable.

People are not.

People have no limit and they cannot be controlled. They have values, feelings, triggers. They establish relationships and break them. They are motivated and demotivated. They need to talk and to be listened to. They want to progress, take on new challenges, and they panic in the face of change.

We know how people are, because we are people too. And that’s what scares us and makes managing people so difficult.

Exactly the reason why, in a situation of crisis or uncertainty, most management resorts to assigning more tasks, asking for more visibility, setting stricter deadlines, and cracking down on inefficiencies.

Because managing projects is easy, while managing people is difficult.

Ocean of indifference

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The lack of candor and openness in most workplaces is one of the main demotivators for employees.

If you work at a place where everybody agrees during a meeting, but then implementing what was decided is a lengthy and painful process, that’s probably because people don’t feel like they are free to speak up or because they don’t want to. One way or the other, the environment gets quickly very toxic, frustration mounts, and what’s left is an ocean of indifference and inefficiency.

On a pedestal

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Putting somebody on a pedestal is a bad thing for you and for them.

For you, because you are taking distance from an ideal that you should, instead, make your own. You say things like: I’ll never be like you; You are much better than I am; I could never do that. And by saying it, you both set a lower bar for yourself and build a perfect excuse for your next failure.

For them, because you are holding them to an unrealistic standard. It might be that they have found some specific ways to manage the situation, but for sure they battle with the same demons, have the same uncertainty, feel the same fear of failure as you do. They need to be able to express all that, instead of hiding it to adhere to the idea you might have.