Tag: relationships

Not the only one

FabrizioLeave a comment

You are not the only one who had a bad day.

Not the only one who’s been rejected, just when they thought this was the right time.

Not the only one whose heart beats when they are about to leap.

Not the only one who needs to juggle many things just to keep the boat afloat.

Not the only one who had a great idea that’s been stifled by bureaucracy and resistance.

Not the only one who’s losing the motivation and barely does their job.

Not the only one who’d wish they’d be loved more, appreciated more, thanked more.

Not the only one who chokes when all the eyes turns to them.

Not the only one who’s already behind on their new year’s resolutions.

Not the only one who’s never gonna write that book.

That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t hurt.

It just means you are not alone.

Waiting for others

FabrizioLeave a comment

How much of your work is waiting for others to do something?

Work is global, interconnected, relational, shared. It’s true today and it will be even more true in the future.

Yet waiting never corresponds to adding value. So, if a good part of your work depends on others doing something, you have a huge problem that you need to address.

On the other hand, many use others as an excuse when they fail to deliver, when they are unsure on what to do, when they fear their work might be wrong, when they have something more important to take care of. This also needs to be addressed, but it’s easier (not simpler though).

Excuses and reasons

Fabrizio5 Comments

Excuses are what you come up with when attempting to convince about something you did (and shouldn’t have done) or did not (and should have done).

Reasons are circumstances that explain why you have not done something you should have, or have done something you should not have.

Excuses are fragile. They are usually ex-post (they come after the fact). They border with lies, and as nobody wants to think of themselves as a liar, they set up for discordance and self-criticism, and eventually undermine the intention of doing.

Reasons are solid. They are usually ex-ante (they come before the fact). They fire up compassion and kindness towards ourselves, and they do not harm our will to do what we initially set out to do. Perhaps under different circumstances, or better equipped to face the ones that have emerged.

Eventually, only you can say if it’s excuses or reasons you are using to not show up.

Honest

FabrizioLeave a comment

Honesty can only work when it’s two-way.

You can’t be honest if you do not accept others to be honest with you as well, and you can’t demand honesty if you are not honest in the first place yourself.

It’s about building trust and knowing that the other is going to be on your side when it matters. Sometimes by putting you in front of harsh truths, sometimes by telling you well timed lies.

Saying “let’s be honest with each other” is a commitment for the long term, something you have to start building day-in and day-out, with practice and consistency.

It’s not something for a two-hours meeting.

No competition

FabrizioLeave a comment

Help, gratitude, kindness. There’s no competition when you start practicing them.

If you help somebody and another person does the same, all the better. If you are grateful for something, and then something else, and another thing yet, there’s just more to be gained. If you are kind by default, and your neighbour is kind too, and their neighbours too, it’s a great thing for the whole community.

We are so often stuck in a constant race that we easily forget how not everything rewards the first and forgets the others.