Marketing is about changing behavior.
And what marketers often fail to grasp is that the change is not about a transaction. It is about a connection.
When you make it about a transaction it is the here and now, this is what we have, this is what you need, take it, here is how much it costs. Next.
When you make it about a connection it is about giving, this is for you, take it and enjoy it, and perhaps think about us the next time you need what we do.
Here is a brilliant example.
I believe is a powerful statement, one that leaves little room for discussion.
It is challenging to move from there, and often the only way forward for an argument based on I believe is to go back and exit it. It quickly becomes a matter of who is going to get tired first and withdraw.
We use I believe more often then we should. And we often leave it hanging between facts and opinions, increasing vagueness when we would actually bring a contribution to a matter we care about.
Some alternative ways that have more power to move the conversation past the current state.
I know ..
The numbers show ..
Our mutual understanding is based on ..
I would prefer ..
And the most powerful of all.
What do you believe?
Are you good?
and
Can you tell me of a time you have been good?
are clearly two very different questions.
The first one is instinctive, of course I am good. The second one activates the slow part of the brain, the reflective part, and is way more difficult to lie to.
Behavioral questions like the second one can go a long way when you are trying to figure out something in a context that easily hides facts (perhaps for totally legitimate reasons). Getting used to asking better questions is a sure way to avoid disappointment later on. And to get better answers.
Tell me about the last time you have acted as a team player.
What is an example of a thing that makes this a great place to work?
Can you tell me of the last time you used our product, what have you done with it?
How often do people in your team get promoted?
When you let go of things you are not good at, you find the space and energy to double down on your strengths. And, equally importantly, you leave the space to others in your team to do the same.
For leaders, this is particularly crucial. We tend to think we should know it all and do it all, that if we are not going to do something is just because we really do not have time. And all that translates, day after day, into a demotivated team, poor deliveries and many chocked processes.
Not knowing is ok.
Say it out loud: “I do not know”.
It is the only possible step towards building a team that can deliver the change you are seeking.
Work leaks into your personal life, news and preoccupations leak into your personal life, continuous demands of attention leak into your personal life.
And to some extent, that is fine.
At some point though, that becomes untenable, and that is precisely what you need to be aware of. When does that happen? How does that manifest? What can you do about it*?
Lacking a system that keeps this in check means gradually losing track of yourself, your thoughts, your strengths, your limits.
No work, preoccupation, demand can be tackled if that happens.
* I have recently started keeping two distinct apps for emails, one for personal emails (that I have heavily cleaned and optimized) and one for work emails. If you tend to drift to work stuff in your free time, you might give this a try.
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