Tag: relationships

Contagious

FabrizioLeave a comment

The surest way to get ahead is to be kind.

Not because it is easy, it is incredibly difficult most of the time. Not because it is immediate, in fact it is mainly long term. Not because it is tangible, it’s mostly about practice and belief. Not because it is popular, there are not many business books who praise kindness over hustle. Not because it is visible, mostly it is about standing in the back of the stage.

But because it is contagious.

Kindness spreads, and if you start pouring some around, everyone will be better off.

Starting with you.

All year round

FabrizioLeave a comment

Perhaps it’s because it’s Christmas. Perhaps somebody has done something nice for you. Perhaps you have just gotten an unexpected praise, or a long-waited message. Perhaps it’s the energy you are getting from having finally started that project you have been wondering about for so long. Perhaps it’s your family, your friends, your loved one. Or perhaps it’s just because that’s who you are, and you have always known it.

But if you got in the mindset of giving these days, if you are being kind and helpful, if you are saying “I see your point” and “That is interesting” more often than “You are wrong” and “That is stupid”, then just remember that there is no reason why you should not practice that all year round. Even when things are tough. Particularly when things are tough.

Merry Christmas.

Deep inside

FabrizioLeave a comment

What we do is always a manifestation of something deep we feel inside.

When we shout, it might be because we got scared.

When we hit somebody, it might be because we feel insecure.

When we say something mean, it might be because we got treated unfairly.

That’s an explanation of course, but it should not be an excuse. We need to identify what’s deep inside, and tackle it with all our possible resources, because it’s difficult to get rid of the behavior if the feeling is still there.

On a pedestal

FabrizioLeave a comment

Putting somebody on a pedestal is a bad thing for you and for them.

For you, because you are taking distance from an ideal that you should, instead, make your own. You say things like: I’ll never be like you; You are much better than I am; I could never do that. And by saying it, you both set a lower bar for yourself and build a perfect excuse for your next failure.

For them, because you are holding them to an unrealistic standard. It might be that they have found some specific ways to manage the situation, but for sure they battle with the same demons, have the same uncertainty, feel the same fear of failure as you do. They need to be able to express all that, instead of hiding it to adhere to the idea you might have.

Something to let go

FabrizioLeave a comment

At some point, you have to let go.

Not of things, but of your attitude towards things. Most of what happens is made worst by what we think about it, what we feel about it, what we say about it – to ourselves and to others. That’s what we need to get rid of, the part we have to let go.

Do it sooner rather than later, and you can start the process of change.