Tag: problems

Try

Fabrizio1 Comment

Tomorrow you can try to:

  • Avoid an argument
  • Let go of an opinion that’s causing friction with colleagues
  • Close a project that’s not delivering results
  • Tell somebody they are right (and perhaps you are wrong)
  • Give away an idea that you know you will never have the resources to implement
  • Not indulge in a habit that’s consuming your time
  • Leave the mobile phone in the other room
  • Reply to messages only at dedicated times
  • Stop working at 2pm
  • Compliment something that they have achieved
  • Say that you are sorry about something that’s causing bad feelings

If you do, take note of how it is. And if it is good, try to do it the day after as well. Perhaps try to add another one from the list, or from your list. Expand from there.

Anger and social media

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It turns out anger spreads faster than joy, because it does not need strong ties – and most of our relationships are weak, particularly nowadays and particularly on social media.

If you share something negative or enraging, it gets picked up more likely by people who don’t know you or are mere acquaintances. While if you share something positive or joyful, it most likely will stop at your closest ties.

The idea that something liked, shared, commented, viewed is good is fundamentally faulted. We need to change that before we can actually look at the future of social media.

Losing control

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When you lose control, your instinct tells you to control whatever it is left. The problem is, often what is left does not need your control.

If your relationship is going downhill, you strengthen your grip on your kids. Do this, don’t do that, come here, go there. Of course, they don’t need any of that.

If your team is failing to meet their goals, you double down on your team members. This is wrong, we should try that, why is this happening. Of course, they don’t need any of that.

If your creativity has hit a plateau, you focus more and more on the small details. Let’s refine the tone, let’s make it perfect. Of course, the details are – in most cases – meaningless.

It’d be great if you could just let go of control in the first place, so as to not risk to lose it at any point. It would save a lot of trouble.

Thoughts, words, and acts

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A kind thought is nice, but it’s not enough. A thought stays in your mind and unless you do something about it, you are the only one who is going to know of it.

A kind word is nice, but it’s not enough. A word is a superficial manifestation and not necessarily a truthful one.

A kind act is nice, but it’s not enough. An act is immediately visible, it can be used to hide an intent, to pursue an unkind agenda.

The only way is to be kind with thoughts, words, and acts. To yourself first, and then to others.

Because candid kindness is contagious.

Defensive

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It’s so easy to feel attacked when somebody gives you critical feedback or even just points at some mistake you made. It’s even easier when you are tired, when you are going through a rough patch, when you have had bad experiences in your past, or when you are generally not used to get feedback.

If you can just hold your thoughts for a little longer, though, you can see that’s not the feedback that’s hurting. It’s the tiredness, the fear, the stress, the insecureness.

Say it.

“I’m tired”.

“I’m under a lot of stress and I needed an easy win”.

“I’m sorry, I will fix that, it’s just something I don’t feel particularly confident with”.

That little labelling exercise will completely shift the narrative. From defensive you become open. And when you are open, anything can happen.