Not how it works

Do something because you want to try.

Because you want to start a new habit, because it is a thing you might like, because you know that somebody will feel better. Do something because you are running out of time or because you have too much time on your hands. Do it because it makes sense, because it is the right thing to do, because you know you can handle it. Or perhaps to test yourself, to stretch your skills and build new muscles. Do something when you have nothing to do, when you have too much to do, when you feel down, and when you feel energetic.

But never do because you expect someone to do something in return.

That’s just not how it works.

Shades

Feeling ineffective is very different from feeling worthless.

Being down is not the same as being miserable.

If someone irritates us, it’s not the same as if they would enrage us.

When we feel regret for a situation, that does not make the situation humiliating.

Language is made of shades. And when it comes to emotions, in particular, being able to verbalize the different levels of intensity can make the difference between seeing options and getting lost.

We can get better at expressing how we feel, and this vocabulary of emotions by Ed Batista is a fantastic tool for that.

How are you feeling today?

Trajectory

Don’t work for people you don’t want to become. (cit. Shane Parris)

Also, don’t date, don’t hang out with, don’t support people you don’t want to become. Those in our circles set the tone for the environment we live in. We have values and principles we aim to stick to, and we are better off when the people we invite on the journey aim to stick to them as well.

Find the examples, foster the relationships, and treasure the opportunities.

Those are the connections that make it all worth it.

No bad experience

Three questions to unlock learning.

  1. What happened?
  2. What worked and what did not work?
  3. What will you do differently?

When you do this regularly and consistently, no bad experience will stop you.

Rather than starting your next meeting with “I have heard”, “I have noticed”, “The numbers say that..”, try kicking off a conversation with the first question, and keep your mind open by supporting it with the other two.

People do not want to be told what they did wrong and what they should have done instead. People want to learn. Guide them in doing just that.