Tag: fear

The right thing is rarely easy

FabrizioLeave a comment

Many things that matter are not easy. Even in the day-to-day.

Making time to help someone is not easy.

Speaking up when you witness racist or sexist behaviour is not easy.

Choosing not to scream every time your kids get on your nerves is not easy.

Sitting down with somebody to express your discomfort is not easy.

The point is that if you always seek the easy, if you try to find shortcuts in most situations, if your first thought is about how you can save some time, some money, some energy, it’s very likely you will often end up doing the wrong thing.

Nobody likes the version of themselves that does the wrong thing more often than the right one.

Overcompensating

FabrizioLeave a comment

It’s tempting to set up a general rule to avoid a nuisance that is due to a few negative experiences. The problem is that the rule does not consider the vast majority of experiences that are positive, and therefore it ends up fixing an issue that, in most cases, is not an issue.

That’s the case of the employer setting up very rigid working hours because two people (out of tens or hundreds of employees) usually start working after lunch. What happens the next an employee is 10 minutes late? What if it’s their first time?

Overcompensating is rarely a good idea.

The superior companion

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you fall in love with an outcome, you will never notice that the world around you is moving, that the context is ever changing, and that the outcome, in the end, does not provide that sense of reward you had anticipated.

If instead you fall in love with the journey, you are in the present, here and now. You see the changes, you notice the details, you are awake and ready, you have a place to fall back to when the unexpected becomes reality.

The journey is just a superior companion.

Within you

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you scream, scratch, offend, shut down, retort, bite, barricade, wound.

That’s all about you, isn’t it?

It’s not the situation, the others in the room, your boss, your partner, your kids.

It’s something deep down within you.

And when you are calm, the most you can do is go and search for it, label it, put it to rest.

It will be easier the following time.

Turn the narrative around

FabrizioLeave a comment

A negative turn of events is not inherently bad. A positive turn of events is not inherently good.

You ought to be able to see the good in the bad as well as the bad in the good. Not to be detached from reality. Not to be problem child or the naïve dreamer. Not to stay away from grief and joy at all costs. But to be able to appreciate the power that you have to turn the narrative around.