If you have to be bold about one thing in life, be bold about picking yourself.
The time of waiting for others to pick us is over. Bosses, teachers, examiners, recruiters are nowadays just as powerful as we let them.
Be the one to pick yourself instead.
To do what you are passionate about. To do it consistently. To do it in line with your values. To do it for the rewards you decide matter. To do it wherever, and for whomever, you choose to do it.
It is scary, and it is powerful.
Let’s go.
Your boss is not appreciating your work as they should.
That colleague of yours never invites you to important meetings.
Your family does not grant you enough time to cultivate your passion.
The company you want to work for did not answer your application.
Recruiters in your area are simply looking for a different profile.
Customers do not get what your product can do for them.
They probably are.
But the point is, what can you do to change that?
Do you have a problem with authority you can work on? Do you struggle to build relationships with peers? Can you have a conversation with your family to explain why your passion matters to you? Are there skills or holes in your experience that prevent you from being called back when you apply to jobs? Can you do a better job at understanding the people you serve?
Blaming it on the others is an easy escape, one that often gets us stuck. So, what is truly holding you back?
To be a leader, in life and at work, you need to let go.
Let go of schedules and outcomes, experience and opinions, details and plans. Let go of control. Let go of yourself. Let go of your definition of reality. Let go of your certainties.
If you cling to any of these, being a leader is going to be much more difficult. And eventually you will be the one regretting it the most.
When you are rejected, the opportunity is not in “better luck next time”, or “it’s their loss”, or “you are better than this”.
The opportunity is in taking a step back and checking where it hurts.
Are you disappointed because you cannot pay the next bill or because you were enjoying what you were doing? Because you have to cancel your next vacation or because you genuinely thought you were delivering your best job? Because you have to face the questions of family and friends or because you felt for once you had something to give to a cause?
When we take the time to check where it hurts, we can more easily spot what is next. And it might be something utterly surprising.
When somebody attacks you on some of the features that define you (your work, your values, your reputation), all you can do is continue nurturing those very same features.
Going head-to-head can be fascinating in a sense. Demolishing the attacker’s argument, pointing out all the good that you have done, bringing people onboard to testify on that goodness, providing evidence that what you say is correct. Fascinating, and costly. And eventually it will most likely play in the hands of your opposer.
You are in it for the long term, not for the next news cycle. Work, values, reputation are built over time. Let others craft and enjoy the hourly commentary, the back-and-forth, the speculation, as it will be soon gone.
You, on the other hand, are here to stay.
You've got this 