Living through this

As the holidays get close and the news fill once more with variants and spikes, it is worth reminding that it is ok not to be ok.

It is ok to be anxious, stressed, demotivated. It is ok to not feel like doing anything. It is ok to be languishing and just wanting to give up. It is ok to take days off, to go for a walk in the middle of a busy day, to want to meet others and at the same time dread the moment when that will happen.

All of this is ok, and the moment you are fine with it, you can start expressing how it is. People will feel a little less afar. You will be a little less alone.

We are living through this.

You’ve got this.

Thin line

There is a thin line between your fragility and other people’s fragility.

They often live in the same space.

I don’t like this project – It can be interpreted as an attack, a lack of trust, a doubt on your skils, a revenge for something you once said (your fragility); and at the same time, it can be a manifestation of fear, uncertainty, adversity to risk, a different mindset (other people’s fragility).

Someone not returning your greeting – It can be interpreted as a dislike, a judgement, a strong preference to not spend time with you, a way to send a clear message about the meeting that is about to begin (your fragility); and at the same time, it can be a manifestation of a cluttered mind, uneasiness around others, a disinterest towards socialization, tension for the meeting that is about to begin (other people’s fragility).

Your role is to understand the boundaries of your fragility, the words and actions that trigger it, so that you can extend from there and accept other people’s fragility and their own effort to understand them.

Take the comment on the project and appreciate that it is feeding your lack of trust in your own skills; then move towards the other and sit with them as they explore their own side.

Take the greeting that was not returned and appreciate that it is triggering your struggle to belong, then move towards the other and sit with them as they explore their own side.

When you don’t do this, the thin line grows into a thick wall.

Not the end of the world

A defeat is not the end of the world.

For sure, it hurts. You’ll have to take time to process it. You will be tempted to give way to regrets, complaints, frustation, fury. And sometimes, you should. You will need to regroup with those who have been close to you all along the way. You will grieve, cry perhaps, feel like everything was pointless. You will analyse, and question, and wonder. You might be doing that for quite some time.

In the end, though, you will accept and go back to your practice. And actually, the fastest you do, the strongest you are.

Because a defeat is not the end of the world.

Satisfied

Most of your satisfaction is due to the effective application of three interrelated things.

  1. Knowing what is important.
  2. Not allowing any space for what does not belong to number 1.
  3. Giving yourself some slack when you fail at number 2.

This is true in your personal and your professional life. At the office, in your free time, and at the gym. When you are on your own, with your partner, with your friends, or with your kids.

It is a matter of awareness, of choices, and boundaries.

It is a matter of saving resources and investing them in the things that have the highest potential.

It is a matter of acknowledgement and empathy.

Tough job

It is a challenge not to make all decisions, but when others report to you, that is the only way.

It is a challenge not to take control of every little detail, but when others report to you, that is the only way.

It is a challenge not to give your opinion on every project, but when others report to you, that is the only way.

It is a challenge not to behave as if you have all the knowledge about service, product, marketing, sales, customers, and market. But when others report to you, that is the only way.

It is a challenge not to express with words and behaviour that you are under a lot of stress and external pressure. But when others report to you, that is the only way.

Being in charge is tough job.

Fortunately, it is for you to decide if that’s for you or not.