Tag: empathy

Silence is not weakness

Fabrizio1 Comment

A problem needs a solution.

A hunch needs clarity.

An idea needs execution.

An opinion needs an audience.

The point is, you can’t treat them all in the same way. If you share a hunch with an audience, most people will find it pointless and fail to understand. If you try to execute on a opinion, most of the times you’ll end up going alone. If you give your audience a problem, they will look at you for a solution.

If you are unsure what you are about to express, it’s ok to take some time to think it through.

Silence is not a sign of weakness.

Founder bias

FabrizioLeave a comment

There might be many wrong aspects in these emails (and some good too), but the key thing here is that they reflect a bias – or a series of bias – that many founders fall for.

It’s the idea that just because they do work (successfully in this case, but that is not necessary) in a certain way, then everybody else is supposed to do that too.

It’s the idea that by doing more of the same they will automatically scale the results.

It’s the idea that in order for their employees to show they care, they need to conform and comply.

This is typically building an enormous blind spot for founders and their companies. And that’s very dangerous in the long term.

Drifting

FabrizioLeave a comment

For any recipe you have found that has worked, there are at least other ten that go in the exact opposite direction. And still work.

That’s why it is so important to find a way that matches who you are and what you stand for. A way you are absolutely and completely comfortable with. A way you would use even if no one would be watching.

In any other cases, you are just drifting.

Eventually

FabrizioLeave a comment

That moment you spend doing something that someone else wants you to do, and that you absolutely hate. That moment when you despise yourself, blame the other, feel like there’s no point, find faults in everything. That same moment you get angry, furious, mad, and then sad, depressed, disillusioned.

It’s just not worth it, isn’t it?

And to be clear, that does not mean “follow your passion and do what you like“.

It means find what you like and be brave enough to stick with it.

No matter what others want or say.

They too will thank you, eventually.

Compliance and change

FabrizioLeave a comment

Most feedback features an I and a you.

I like what you did.

I feel you are not motivated enough.

I believe this is what you should do.

It’s the opinion of one person – often against the opinion of another person -, and the effectiveness of this kind of feedback depends on the status of the one giving it. Even in the best case scenario, even if the feedback gets through, it is because of compliance.

A more effective feedback features a what, an how, a why, and a couple more whats.

What happened?

How did it go? – in relation to shared goals.

Why did things go like that?

What will be different next time?

What can I do to help?

It’s the feedback that helps reflection and learning. Status has zero relevance, in fact this format can be used by anyone with anybody. And when the feedback is successful, you have lasting change.