Tag: empathy

The beast

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How much of the past are you taking into today?

Will you be saying ‘hello’ to the person who rejected you years ago, calling now with a new opportunity?

Will you be asking ‘what’s next?’ when a friend you have not talked to in years will want to patch things up?

Will you be open to take that chance, despite having failed it before in similar circumstances?

If we can label what’s going on, look the beast in the eyes, move past regrets, judgement and might-have-beens, our day will be much lighter.

There’s no need to overcomplicate things with burdens that serve no purpose in our life.

Harsh

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The harshness of your ways is merely fear and pain.

Fear of something that might happen, of something that might repeat itself, of losing control, of being subject to judgement, of not meeting others’ expectations, of being hurt, of having to face the unknown.

Pain for something that has happened in your life, for not being able to reciprocate a feeling, for a scar that has not healed yet, for the too much effort you are putting in keeping things under your will, for the lack of rest and tranquillity.

If you find the courage to speak of fear and pain, you immediately take their power away. Your relationships will benefit from it greatly.

About the others

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Increasingly, the change we seek and want to bring about, the change to things we do not like or find unfair, is not a revolution led by a strong leader.

Examples such as #metoo and #blacklivesmatter show that change happens nowadays because of more or less spontaneous movements that find coordination and reach in the masses.

Change is less scary when it is not imposed, when it is shared, when it spreads horizontally.

As you go about your need for change, think: “how can I make it about the others?”.

Redesigning life

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If your life is designed in such a way that over time, consistently, you can’t:

  • take a number of days off to recover from a flu
  • take a number of days off to prevent the spreading of a disease
  • take one hour or two to recover from a bad headache or go for a walk
  • cancel a business trip
  • reschedule a meeting
  • go offline for a period of time without fearing something will be wrong when you are back
  • ignore an email or a call that comes out of your normal business hours

Then it is perhaps time to consider redesigning your life.

Not everything

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Not everything is urgent. Not everything is important. Not everything is newsworthy, and not everything that is newsworthy is a tragedy. Not everything requires your attention. Not everything demands that you change your plans. Not everything is a debate in search of a winner. Not everything is worth your time.

When we lose the ability to look at things with perspective, the world becomes flat.