Tag: empathy

Training empathy

FabrizioLeave a comment

We must say “I am sorry” and “thank you” as many time as it is needed to strip the expressions of any trace of shame, defeat, capitulation. We must say that often, over and over again.

Even when we are not fully convinced we should.

Even when the other person’s behaviour does not fully justify it.

Even when there are tens of additional things to take into consideration.

It is one of the most effective ways to train the empathy muscle, and start seeing those around us as human beings that live outside of our narratives.

Give it a try.

Happiness

FabrizioLeave a comment

No one is responsible for your happiness but you.

Not your boss, who is delaying your promotion until next year.

Not your partner, who is distracted by their troubles and can’t always give what you would like.

Not your kids, who have been fussy lately, always trying to catch your attention as soon as you start doing something that matters.

Not your friends, who cannot commit to a vacation together for any reason they choose to share.

People around you are important and crucial in supporting your efforts, sharing your values and worldview, making you learn and grow as a human being. Yet, the decisions they make and the actions they take are not the reasons why you are (or are not) happy.

No one is responsible for your happiness but you.

And you are responsible for no one’s happiness but yours.

With this in mind, focus.

Defuse

Fabrizio1 Comment

Caught in the heat of an argument, the challenge is to find the lucidity to defuse. Do that while you are in a position of power, and you will have made real progress.

Going head against head, second guessing, paying back, raising your voice, smashing and controlling. Those are short-lived strategies that will just feed into the next argument.

What is strength?

Inspiring change

FabrizioLeave a comment

If all you give people are facts, they will take note and move on with their lives.

Give them a story they can feel and relate too, and you will have their long-term attention.

Give them empathy for their own story, and you will have them ready to change their behaviour.

On a journey

FabrizioLeave a comment

When your focus is on self-awareness and self-understanding, there’s a risk to end up feeling lonely and isolated. Partly because it’s yourself you are focusing on, and partly because it is difficult to relate what we feel and think to others (“Am I the only one who feels or thinks this?”).

The importance of those around you and of peer-support cannot be underestimated. Go on this journey with people you value and care about.