Tag: empathy

Hide and run

FabrizioLeave a comment

What do you do when you forget to get back to a colleague, when the day ends without you returning that call, when the follow up you promised on that matter does not happen, when you postpone that conversation you were supposed to have?

The truth is, most of the time, we just go down a path that takes us further away from the right thing.

And so we avoid the colleague, we silence the phone, we build excuses around the promise, we postpone the conversation until it gets forgotten. We hide. We run from a mere oversight until it spirals into a complete failure. This is how much we hate admitting we did something wrong.

Of course, all of the process of hiding and running takes a lot of resources. Energy and time that will be better employed once we find the courage to say “my bad, let’s move on”.

How much more could you achieve if only you would learn to say “I am sorry”?

No better investment

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you know yourself, the rest will follow. The opposite, unfortunately, is not true.

Getting to know your strenghts and your limits, what triggers you and what motivates you, what really matters and what you can let go. Having the capacity to adapt to your own mood, understanding that today it is simply not the day, that right now is the moment to push, that your getting mad yesteday is because of the lack of sleep. Not beating yourself up while still holding yourself accountable.

There is no better investment than the time you spend getting to know yourself.

Disservice

FabrizioLeave a comment

That idea you oppose, most likely it has some valid arguments backing it up.

By diminishing the idea, refusing to listen to it, sushing those supporting it you are doing everybody a disservice.

You are doing your counterpart a disservice, as you do not leave them the space to express their view and see if it resonates.

You are doing yourself a disservice, as you remain stuck, forgo a learning opportunity, fail to progress.

And equally importantly, you are doing your own idea a disservice, because even if it will eventually prevail, it will fail to represent a portion of the environment that might be sizable.

We are a culture in transition, and it may be that we are heading toward a more equal society — I don’t know — but what essential values will we forfeit in the process?

Nick Cave, the Red Hand Files, issue #109

Not permanent

FabrizioLeave a comment

Who is speaking up in support of the change you seek to make?

If it is always, only you, you most likely have one of two problems.

Problem number 1: you are seeking the wrong change. There is nothing to change, everything works just fine. Or there is something to change, just not what you want to. This happens more often then we care to admit, as we tend to follow our guts when it comes to change. It makes us restless, constantly searching for evidence, submitting ourselves to confirmation bias. In the long run it takes away from our purpose.

Problem number 2: you are seeking change in the wrong place. It might seem awfully similar to problem number 1, but in this case it is actually more about trying to bring on board the wrong people, pushing for change in the wrong organisation, expecting the wrong community to react to something they are not ready for.

One way or the other, there is one caveat about “wrong”: it is not permanent. If you are cautious and aware, you can prepare the ground for “right”. You can advocate, commit, wait, listen,understand. You can act both on the change and on the place, and eventually make them match.

Let’s go!

Keep at it

FabrizioLeave a comment

The months we are living are a challenge.

And even those who are lucky enough to still have job, to have a house, a supportive family, food on their table every day, more comfort than the vast majority of the world population. They too are struggling.

We live now in a prolonged liminal phase and we do not know what we will become. As individuals, as a community, as a global society. There is a sizable and constantly present amount of stress and anxiety that is slowly eroding many of the things that used to form our identity, our belonging, our purpose.

In a time like this, we need to keep talking to each other. We need to communicate what we feel, open to other people’s emotions and find common ground. Differences do not matter now.

And we also need to keep practicing. Whatever your practice is, whatever the thing that makes you feel good, whatever the habit that anchors you to the known. Keep at it.

These are the times, after all, where resilience is built.